Ninety

Chapter 7

"Alexa, you have to eat, you haven't eaten in 6 days, you're losing too much weight!" Tamara scolded.

I shrugged her off and continued drowning in heartbreak with my music softly filling the room.

"You should open these curtains, this place stinks, theres things lying around, you're failing most of your subjects already..."

On and on Tamara rambled about my surroundings and my life.

My miserable, miserable life.

Ever since Anthony had broken up with me I haven't had the energy to do anything at all. I had planned to study hard in order to make my parents proud but now, seemingly as I don't have any...

I've lost sight of purpose, so everyday I sit in my dorm room, listen to music and think too much. Lately I've been listening to Xxxtentacion, his music is great.

Who am I?
Someone that's afraid to let go.
You decide,
If you ever gonna lemme know.
Suicide,
If you ever tried to let go
I'm sad!
I know yeah
I'm sad-

"No! You're not sad! Stop listening to this depressing emo music!" Tamara grabbed my speaker and switched off my music.

It felt as if she had switched off my life, that music kept me on life support!!

"For your information, emo music isn't always depressing! It's some pretty great stuff, rock music or whatever," I shot as I switched my music back on.

Jonah is goth/emo (same thing😒) and he's pretty cool. I will defend his music!

"Lets go shopping," Tamara suggested as she swung open the curtains.

I shielded myself as if I was a vampire as she rolled her eyes.

"You need to move on, you need to get your life back on track. Find love again, fix things with your parents, get your grades up," Tamara said.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not strong enough."

"You can."

"Can't."

"Can."

And with that, I broke down. Tears flooded down my eyes as I began screaming at Tamara.

"You don't understand okay!? Not much has happened but I'm falling apart!! Every thing I do keeps messing up!! I'm a mess up!" I screamed.

She walked towards me to comfort me but I pulled away.

"Leave me alone!! I'm fact, I want to speak to Jonah! Call him," I screamed in between sobs.

"Alright alright, just calm down, I'm calling him," Tamara replied as she dialled in a number on her phone.

I sat on my bed and switched my music back on, I tugged into my teddy bear for comfort and sank feel into the lyrics again.

No I'm not alright yeah
I might start a riot yeah
I'm so f**Ken tired yeah
So what's up? What you say?
Feeling good of feeling great?
Tired of the-

"He'll be here in about ten minutes," Tamara said after a while.

"Thank you," I replied as I dried up my tears.

Jonah arrived several minutes later, seeming as if he had been crying. Tamara excused herself because she felt unwelcomed.

"What's wrong?" Jonah asked with concern.

"Were you crying?" I asked.

"Yes, but don't worry about that right now," he said.

"I thought we trust each other now..."

"My parents got into an arguement, that's all," he replied sadly.

I felt sympathy for him. Although, I havent known Jonah for a long time, I felt as if I was able to connect with him sometimes.

"Well, my parents disowned me and my boyfriend left me," I replied.

"You don't need him, but you need to earn your parents trust again," he replied.

I sighed and threw myself onto my bed and covered my self with my comforter, just daydreaming that it would somehow "comfort" me. Get it? Oh it's not funny. Alright.

"That's too much work. Why is life sooo hard! I'm soooooo tired of everything and everyone," I moaned as tears slipped out my eyes

"Let's go out, with the rest of the crew," Jonah suggested as he dried my tears.

"No, that's too much work, I don't have energy. I just want to listen to my music and sleep," I lazily replied as I slid onto the floor and slouched.

"Normally, I'd tell you that music solves everything, but you've been listening to music too much and you're listening to the wrong music anyways," he said as he attempted to drag me of the floor.

"I can't, I'm so tired, and my music is great," I said in between sobs.

"You ever heard of My Chemical Romance?"

"That rock emo band that split up years ago?"

"If you dare say anything like that ever again I'll murder your children," he replied with a chronic face.

Goth people. 😒

"I'm not goth, I'm emo, now let's goooooooo," he said.

I thought out loud!? How does that even happen!?

"Hey!!!" Someone said as they burst through the door. Bursting through the door was Tamara, Max and Jordon.

"We heard you guys are drowning in depression," Max said dramatically as he place the back on his hand on his forehead as if he had a fever.

I rolled my eyes at him. Max had the power to irritate me even from just breathing, him bursting through my dorm room is not what I needed then.

"So we've come to save you!! Well, I cane to save Princess Alexa but, uh, Jonah can come along," Jordon flirted but failed miserably.

"I think you deserve a stress free day, so we're going on a trip! In our favourite rocket ship! Swimming through the sky! Little Einsteins!" Tamara sang at the top of her lungs as we all joined in.

"I'm tired," I stated.

Jonah gave me a look. I'm not sure how i would explain it. Somewhere between "I understand" and "I don't understand, you've slept for a week". Do you know how to explain That? No?

I groaned and eventually agreed to it. We left our dorms and I participated in their crazy activities. At least the day wasn't going to go to waste, unlike the other days.