Not So Serious Anime Reviews

Future Diary

*WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS*

Introrwhatever

Hey there, it's your probably not so favorite anime reviewer here, ready to spout some more bullshit you'll actually read.

This review in particular is about Mirai Nikki, also known as Future Diary: the anime that made me say “Just fuck already” way more than it should have.

First impression when I was watching was; “HOLY SHIT, THEY DON'T USE SMARTPHONES!?!? THIS MUST BE LIKE 1857!!!11!1!! QJHDOAKZBZ!”

But it's actually the early 2000s, so flip phones are actually normal. No, Nokia is not a myth. Let's just move onto the plot and work our way from there. And just to let you know, this one is going to be pretty long because THERE ARE SO MANY IMPORTANT FUCKING CHARACTERS!

Plot

This Hunger Games esque survival sequel to Yandere Simulator…

Oops, let's start again.

Future Diary is an anime about phones that doesn't revolve around emojis or selfies. Instead, it focuses on not dying because your phone can predict the future. This is mainly because you're an unlucky son of a bitch. However, it can only do certain future telling things depending on which phone you have. It can't just tell you everything, unless you're the protagonist because the protagonist must win and have the most OP ability/equipment. JK, there is a lot of bullshit abilities to come.

The story follows a guy named Yuki. He is a total crybaby and has no friends. It's amazing he can do so much as take care of himself. Now, you're probably wondering how a big baby like him got his hands on a future diary. Well, it just so happens that he recorded every detail of his life on his phone so often that it decided it would just be better to write the future for him.

Shit gets real when Yuki realizes that the imaginary friends he thought were imaginary are actually real! Not only that, but one is the God of space and time! This God is Deus Ex Machina. Why is called that? I don't fucking know? Let's start with the definition of Deus Ex Machina.

Definition - an unexpected power or event saving a seemingly hopeless situation, especially as a contrived plot device in a play or novel.

Okay, that actually makes sense. Nevermind. He also has a side kick named Muru Muru who- *MEGA BIG SPOILERS IF YOU WEREN'T LISTENING. PLEASE LEAVE NOW IF U HAVEN'T WATCHED THE SERIES. THAT MEANS GO WATCH IT NOW* -turns out to be a giant fucking prick and phony from another world intent on stealing his power with the aid of her companion, whom is none other than Yuno. The Yuno from the other world of course. Don't ask.

Anyways, everybody gets thrown into this new tech review show and meets in this weird godly dimension and are all like, “future diaries are the shit!" and "I will take over the world!” Etc. But then there is Yuki, who asks the perfectly reasonable question of; “why me”. Well, the reason why is that a new human must be chosen to replace Deus as the God of Space and Time or whatever because he ironically ages. And what better way to pick a winner than a fight to the death over cell phones!

Here are the basics of game:
-2 win, u must be the last person alive. That means everyone else dies. If u become God though, they still can cannot come back to life.
-If u win, u become god. If ur god, the universe won't get fucked up.
-If u drop ur phone u get imploded into another dimension blown through ur asshole. Way worse than cracking ur screen.
-Use ur phones to predict the future so u do not get killed by unwelcome surprises. Dis is a good pro tip.
-If u get a Dead END message ur pretty much fucked, but not really. It's just for suspense.
-And most importantly: UNLIMITED BATTERY POWER IS POSSIBLE!