Hit Like A Girl

22 - Ezra

            I watched a pale and sickly looking Greer make her way to her body guard Hudson; once I could see that she was safely leaving with his arm wrapped around her to support her, I turned in search of my brother. I spun around way too quickly for my intoxicated self to handle and my head spun. I should not have drank so much... I already know that I am going to regret it in the morning.

            Once my head stopped spinning enough for me to see clearly where I was, I scanned the room for my brother. I saw him sitting next to a curly haired brunette girl with a little boy on her lap. She was laughing at something Josh had said. I could tell even for how sloshed I was. 

           I stumbled my way through the crowd and over to them. I slammed myself down in the seat next to my brother and he turned to me. 

     "Ezra! Hi!! Ezra meet Lindsay and her son Shawn. They're from back home!" He smiled at me.

  "Hi!" I waved at them. "I am Ezra. Sorry to have met you like this. I am drunk off my ass right now." 

     Both Lindsay and her son waved and I looked at my brother. "Will you pretty please take me home now? Greer just left and I am entirely way too drunk to be here much longer." 

    He nodded and said his goodbyes. Not before I noticed him give Lindsay his phone number though. Then he turned and helped me stand and wrapped his arm around my waist and we headed outside to catch a cab.

    We didn't speak much on the ride back to the hotel, but the cab driver was nice enough to stop at a 24 hour Starbucks and let us get coffee and water which helped me sober up some before dropping us at the hotel. 

     I quickly changed into and over sized t-shirt and took my pants off and crawled in bed.  I took some head ache medicine and put my water on the nightstand because I knew I would be hung over as fuck in the morning. 

       Laying there in bed I thought about what had happened tonight and I instantly began to feel guilty. I told Greer that I had been in love with her when we were kids. I fucked up. She was NEVER supposed to know that. Hell, I don't even talk to my own parents anymore simply due to the fact that I am gay and I never ever wanted her to know that she was the first girl I fell in love with. Even though I technically never told her I was in-love with her. I just told her that I thought I had a crush on her. 

    Okay.... I took a deep breath. I can still fix this. I will send her a text and explain that it was just a thought. That I was naive and that I really never thought of her as anything more than a friend and that I was just confused because I was still trying to figure out my sexuality and that it was nothing and that I didn't mean to blurt it out like I did tonight and that it was just the alcohol talking. Yea, I can fix this. I really do not want to lose her again after all these years. 

      I pulled out my phone and mulled over how to word this text for Greer. As I did this I thought about how I would play it off in person and how I would never let her know how I truly felt about her back then. 

     I let my mind wander to how I felt then. I was head-over-heels for her. She was beautiful. In every way. She was funny and kind and I was so in-love with the way her face would curve up into a smile and I loved watching her concentrate while training and it was literally every little thing about her that I was in-love with her. 

      The memory made me smile, but that was one of the reasons I stopped talking to her. I didn't want her to know and I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Things are different now though. I mean come on, I just had my almost fiancé cheat on me. 

       So, I sent a text. 

      *Hey! I hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to say I had a really good time with you tonight and I wanted to apologize to you for what I said. I just wanted you to know that it was when we were young and it doesn't mean anything and I was naive and I didn't fully know my sexuality yet and I really hope that doesn't change anything. I really hope that we can keep working on being friends again. I am so sorry for what I said. Good night and I hope you feel better.*