"Worth It"

Chapter 8: Rushed and Guilty

Anamaria's Pov.

I sat there on the side of the river where my sister lost faith in all of society I know I shouldn't even want to step foot anywhere where my sister took her life but oddly this is where I feel closest to her it's where I feel her presence the most. I sat there looking up at the sky questioning my sister as to why she abandoned me, she was stronger then me and couldn't take being alive what made her think I could handle it. I tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't one after another they flowed out I sat there all alone sobbing with my knees to my chest and my face buried between my legs. After awhile I felt someone pull me close to them and embrace me in a very much needed hug. I continued to cry as the person held me in there arms after awhile I began to feel tired maybe from all the crying I was doing but it didn't matter eventually I fell asleep in this persons arms.

Next Day

I woke up in my room the events of yesterday all flowing back into my head I wondered how I got into my room and who the person comforting me was. I figured it was most likely Victor seeing as he's the one who would know where to find me I Immediately I felt shitty knowing I had lead Victor back to that place because I know how much pain it brings him to go anywhere near there my sister's death left a huge wound in his heart that would most likely never heal. I decided to get up and get ready for the day that way I could go and see how Victor was doing hopefully he hadn't been as affected by the memories of that place because whenever Victor shuts down everyone shuts down with him he's the light to all of our lives.I finished getting ready and headed downstairs to the living room when I walked in I could hear Victor verbally abusing Calum for the events that occurred yesterday before anything physical could happen I decided to speak up.

"Vic please that's enough." 

"No, Ana I trusted him with you and not even a day into dating you and he fucks up!" , Victor shouts.

"I understand where you're coming from but it's okay I don't hold anything against him we both rushed into a relationship knowing very little about each other. I was just hoping for the slightest bit of happiness and I thought a boyfriend could give me that so I should apologize to him too I was just looking for a distraction from reality." I say.

"I really am sorry Ana I shouldn't have rushed things we should have taken more time to know each other and then maybe we wouldn't be in this position but I really want to keep being friends with you. I feel like the three of us you, Luke, and I together could help you find that happiness you're trying to find." Calum says while embracing me in a hug. I hug him back letting him know that everything between us is cool. As we let each other go we hear knocking at the door Victor goes to open it but immediately shuts it saying a 'hell no'.  The knocking continues consistently for 5 minutes straight so I decide to open the door and see what this person wants. When I open the door the person turns out to be none other then Michael. I now understand why Victor closed the door I turn around and begin to do the same but Michael puts his foot on the threshold prohibiting me from closing the door on him.

"Michael you have no business here you know that if you want to speak to Calum and Luke you gotta meet them somewhere else so go."

"Please all I ask for is 10 minutes I'm not here for Cal or Luke I came to talk to you."  

I sigh and just stand there contemplating on whether I want to talk to him or not eventually I give in because I'm curious as to what he wants to speak about seeing as we don't really address each other enough to have things to talk about. I walk out the house closing the door behind me and motion for him to follow me. I know when I got back home Victor would give me hell but at this point I just don't care I'm to exhausted and annoyed to argue with anyone anymore. I continue to walk with Michael in awkward silence until we reach the closest park where we sit and begin to discuss whatever he needed to discuss.

"First I want to begin by apologizing for all the bullshit I dragged you through. I really don't know how I let myself get pulled into all of that drama of them putting you through hell or well us putting you through hell. I guess I just wanted to fit in with them I didn't want to be a victim I was scared I should have had the balls to stand up for not only myself but for you to. You didn't deserve anything they or we put you through you've already been through enough with everything that happened with your sister and well other family events. I just wanted to let you know that if you forgive me which I know won't be easy that I'll stand by your side through any situation that I'll be there when you need to talk I'll be there for anything you need. I just want to make everything I want to fix the mistakes I made. I know I really hurt you and I know it won't be easy but please keep an open mind about it. There's so much more I want to talk to you about but that'll be once you decide if I'm worthy of your forgiveness or not. You don't have to answer right now but I hope I'll get an answer soon. Once again I'm so sorry for everything." 

I sit there trying to process everything that Micheal just blurted out. He said all of this while looking me directly in the eyes I could see how sorry and guilty he felt but I just don't know if I could forgive him or not. I would need time to think before I could give him a straight answer so I just stood up and began to walk home I didn't turn around because I know I'd instantly feel bad for leaving him hanging but I just needed time.

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So like hey guys I know it's been awhile but I finally decided to update because well I figured I should really finish this book I stopped writing it because well it was written for someone but me and that person fell off they brought me to much drama and well just caused a lot of problems so I was going to discontinue it but i figured fuck it it's my story and people were reading it so might as well idk if yall will continue to read it or not but ill keep writing i can't remember exactly where i was going with this story but oh well i'll just wing it :)  TO THOSE WHO HAVE COME THIS FAR I LOVE YALL LOS QUIERO MUCHO AND WELL I HOPE THAT YALL CONTINUE TO READ <3 -Nico 

Btw I'm recasting some of the characters just cause now there are better fitted people who fit there image the way I imagined it