Damaged

Daniel

Ten

I'm awoken by the vibration of my phone. I instantly pick it up expecting an "I love you" from Meg but am surprised to see a text from James.

Jack cheated on me

Wait ... what?

I must be dreaming. Jack would never do anything to hurt James. I could tell by the way they look at each other that James is the one for my best friend.

The phone buzzes again.

Your best friends are sleeping with each other.

This is not making any sense right now. I make my way outside so I can call my brother and understand what the hell is happening. As I step in to the crisp summer morning I dial.

"What?" Apparently he is being hostile with me

"Chill out James. What is going on?"

I can hear the tears in his voice as he mumbles into the phone.

"Jack took me the cabin you guys built. We started fooling around and when we were about to get into bed I saw a bra in the bed."

Slowly I remember the last time Meg and I used the cabin and had to rush out when we realized we were running late. I tried to remember if she had left her bra behind and I tried to see how this affected James.

"I know it had something to do with him with all his bullshit he has been doing lately. He's been sleeping with Meaghan."

At the words I nearly drop my phone but am able to regain control.

"What did you say?"

"He's sleeping with Meaghan. He admitted it to me."

Cabin ... bra ... It was all starting to make sense to me. Jack knew I didn't want to be public with Meg so he blamed it all on himself.

The asshole put himself in front of the bullet. He ruined his relationship to save me from losing my family. A part of me was relieved. I knew I had to be more careful with Meg. It wasn't the first time we were almost discovered by our families. I still had my suspicions that her moms knew about us although Meg said it wasn't possible.

Another part of me was pissed off that he kept ruining his own life on my behalf. I would never be able to pay him back for all the times he covered my ass. From letting me lie about staying at his place when I wanted to spend the night with Meg to taking part in the protests. And now he was throwing away something he had spent years building. He would never be able to come back from his.

Just another thing I will need to feel guilty about.

"Are you ignoring me again?"

"I'm sorry James. I was just thinking"

"Whatever" The line disconnects and I find myself not caring enough to call back. I know I should be more sympathetic to James' heartbreak but so many things were racing through my mind.

I send James a quick text.

I'm sorry I wasn't listening. I was just shocked by everything.

Lucky for me James always replies right away.

I know ... Thanks for calling bro.

I head back inside to leave a note for my grandma and Cornelius. I needed to get to the cabin as soon as possible to see Jake. He would be in so much pain and I needed him to know that I appreciated what he did for me and I was sorry it had come to this.

Eleven

I have the taxi drop me off near the trail to the cabin. It is just a little bit into the woods and I am there. Jack has built a fire and he is sitting outside staring into the flames.

"Please step away from the fire."

He looks up and a smile crosses his face. It doesn't make sense to me.

"Didn't my brother just dump you?"

He still smiles his stupid smile. "Doesn't mean I'm not happy to see my best friend."

"Well apparently I should kick your ass for sleeping with my girlfriend."

This causes him to lose it with laughter as I sit beside him. I realize he may be drunk and the thought is confirmed when I see the bottles on the ground around him.

"You're an asshole Dan." He says it as a joke but its how I feel right now looking at him. He is obviously in pain and trying to make light of the situation.

"You didn't need to take all the blame. You keep ruining your life for me. First you lose your family and now you lose my brother."

I am barely holding it together. I want to cry from the thoughts of everything I have done to him since he found out about Meg and me. I haven't been fair to him and I haven't been fair to Meg. I know she's been ready to be open for a while now but she holds back for me and now Jack has had my back again when I still won't even acknowledge who I am.

"I'm gonna tell James the truth tomorrow. I can't let you end your relationship over me."

I look in to his eyes and there is doubt there. "We both know that once you tell him and he doesn't accept you it would be over between us anyways."

"Maybe he will surprise us"

"Do you really think so.?

"Maybe" He looked at me like I was crazy. The truth was that I knew James wouldn't accept it. He was too much like our father Matthew while I got more of Jeff. Jeff was kinder and more accepting. Matthew had cut his mother out of his life when she starting dating a man.

Jack wasn't stupid. The moment I told my family I would be homeless just like him.

He looked at me pitifully. "Well when your family kicks you out you can move into the cabin with me"

I was the one losing it now. We both laughed for a few minutes while the horrible truths hung in the air.

"Don't tell your family Dan. Talk to Meg tomorrow and see what she wants to do first. I'm a big boy and I will be just fine without James"

I knew he was serious about being fine. He would hide his feelings from me. Maybe cry when he was alone with only his memories to keep him company.

I got up from the ground and helped him up. He obviously needed some sleep so I helped him into the cabin and dropped him unto the bed. I thought about sleeping on the chair or the couch but decided that neither were comfortable enough to sleep on and got into bed beside him.

He was already half asleep. It was amazing how he could fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I wish I could do that, Instead I would be awake for hours with my thoughts.

I send Meg a quick text telling her everything that had happened and asking her to meet us at the cabin when she woke up. I also told her I loved her because that was what I needed to say in that moment.

I turned over and faced Jack as he slept. It had been years since we shared the same bed. For a moment it felt like we were twelve all over again.