unexpected { clay jensen } *MAJOR EDITING*

12> Journal

Alana's Point Of View

"Oh my god!" I heard my mom shouting.

I quickly rushed to her room, "Mom what's wrong?" I asked.

"It's about Hannah." She looked at me dead in the eye. I hold her hands softly.

"What is it?"

"I found her journal." She started. Tears slipping down her cheeks and her face was full of terror.

She breathes heavily and I rubbed her back, "What surprise me was, this was more important than the tapes." I gaped.

My panic rushed over my whole body. My heart starting to race uncontrollably and I feel like I was about to fainted till my mom holds me.

"I-" I stuttered but there was nothing to say.

She pulls me closer and grab the journal closely.

13 Reasons Why

THIS BOOK BELONGS TO HANNAH BAKER

I read the page loudly as I started to shake my head.

"This couldn't be real, Isn't it?" I asked my mom worriedly. She just worried as I am.

She opened the book slowly, "It is real." She said.

"What are we going to do, Mom?" I said.

She wiped her tears away and with that, "Throw the tapes away. We don't need it. We'll take this instead." She says pulling the book away from me.

She started to left me till a notes slipped out of the book.

"Mom!" I called out reaching the notes to my hand.

"What is it?" She comes over and I started to flipping the papers.

"I'm not lying. This is the real truth, and I won't force you to believe me. You said you love me, why did you willing to see the worst in me and believe someone else? At least, I'm saying. I'm confessing." I reads it out loudly.

"We have to read this." She says pointing to her journal. I nodded.

"Yes, Mom. But not too much, okay? We figure it out. And we take turns." I assured and she left me.

Letting my mom handling the book, was definitely not a good idea.

I walked to my room and quickly gathered the tapes. I drive to somewhere close to the places where people won't usually go.

I was going to burn it.

I put on some barbecue things which is what we usually put all the foods and it's going to burn.

Just as I was about to slowly letting the tapes go, I heard a male voice shouting at me. I turned around and saw Zach.

"What?" I asked. I don't have energy to snap at him, not now. I was already getting so fucked about this whole situation.

He started to walked close to me and he has a confusion and worried look on his face. "What are you doing here?" He asked.

As he searched his eyes to mine, he looked taken back when he see me holding the tapes.

I shrugged and laughed sarcastically. "Based on my knowledge, people don't usually go here. So, Zach are you following me?" I coldly asked. I place the tapes behind me and crossed my arms.

"Well I was driving then I see you car and-" He tries to explain but I brush it.

"And you go curious. Here you are."

"Why are you following me? Don't you have any business to do?" I asked softly. He stares at me deeply and hold his hands to mine.

I flinched.

"Hey, easy." He pouts.

I shake my head with that.

"Easy? How? You ignored me during the summer, how am I supposed to be okay with that?" I snapped but then I regret.

"Oh it's okay I moved on." I quickly added.

No I wasn't, shit.

I turned back from him, and he pulled me closer to him.

"What?" I looked down to his chest. I can't look at his eyes, well not anymore.

He lifted my chin with his finger, and that's when it hits me.

His beautiful eyes.

"I don't want you to be alone." He whispered softly and he started to caressed my cheeks.

I smiled sadly, "But I already did."

He shook his head kissed my forehead, "I'm here, always here."

With that, I leaned in closer and I closed my eyes.

Please, you're first move.

And it happens. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I snaked my arms around his neck and he wraps my waist with his arms pulling me closer to him.

He bits my tongue for a permission, and I let him in.

"Alana!" A shrieked voice says making me jumped from Zach embrace.

It was Clay and Tony.

"What the fuck Zach?" Clay yelled and glared hotly at Zach.

He looks at me disappointed.

"What is it, Clay?" Zach calmly asked.

I turned away from them a sets the fire widely.

"Alana!" Clay yelled.

Before they gathered around me, I throw the tapes quickly watching it burn slowly.

"Are you crazy?" Tony asks widely.

I shake my head. "Hell no, Tony. I'm good." I bitterly replied.

Clay grabs me in my wrist tightly.

"What the fuck did you do?" He spat.

I nudge his wrist away, "You hurt me!" I groaned in pain.

"Stay away from her, Jensen." Zach demanded pulling me away from him.

Clay Ignored Zach as he stepped closer to see me. He looked sad and upset.

"Did you know that you crossed the line?" He spit it out making me jump.

I stay in my ground even though my legs we're getting weaker.

"There something more, okay? There's a journal." I confessed softly.

He looks at me with coldness in his eyes, "I don't fucking care. I don't care if there's any pictures, or even a god damn journal. I don't care, Alana! I love her and you just throw the fucking tapes, It was the only thing I had left. Her confess, did you know how bad it hurts me?" He spat out at me and I could feel my body breaking.

Zach holds onto me but I shook it.

"I know, Clay. I know you'd react this way. I'm sorry I got high hopes on you and I just want you to forget my sister and starts over with someone else. I fucking realize, we are two different people. We won't match out. Not just like you and my sister did. I fucking am sorry that you made me feel this way, I'm sorry that I got so fucking safe when you had you're arms wrapped around mine. I'm sorry that I can't help all the butterflies when we talked and holds hands. I'm sorry that I chose Zach over you, since I know you would never gained a feelings to someone like me." With that, I held onto Zach hands and stormed off.

author notes

hey babes

quite dramatic isn't it? AND THANKYOU FOR 450+ READERS!! AW I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH