unexpected { clay jensen } *MAJOR EDITING*

19> Alana

13 Reasons Why

THIS BOOK BELONGS TO HANNAH BAKER.

"Alana Josephine Baker. My dearest sister. Hey, if your reading this I'm sorry about everything. I never meant to hurt you, to made you feel like an outsider. You once told me that you didn't care about anything, but your own happiness. You put yourself first above everyone else, and that's what I love about you. You didn't let people define you for who you are. You embrace your insecurities. I love how you stood and had a strong beliefs against woman. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to comfort you when Mom got divorced with Dad and he takes it out on you. I was out with Justin, and I didn't want to talk to you about that either. I need to tell you that, what is happening with me is not your fault. This is me. This is who I am. I'm not as strong as people thought I was. I'm fragile. I'm weak. And I need to stop exist. I don't want to live anymore. I can't hide behind curtains anymore. I'm tired of running away. But everytime I faced what's in there, I'm barely able to stand up. It's like your carrying thousands of pounds on your shoulder, and you feel like people are trying to pull you backwards and you won't ever be able to rise back again and it's fucking sucks. He was inside me, Lana. He was forcing himself through me. I will always remember that. I can't breathe. I can't move. He told me that it was going to be okay. I kept gripping the rails on the pool, trying to get him off but he was too strong. His arms we're wrapped around me and he kept pushing. And in that moment, It felt like I'm screaming and no one can hear. Right after the party, I stand numb less. I don't know what I'm doing. He took my virginity. He was my first. My first that time that should've been with someone special I'm in love with. But no. Turns out like a boomer. Bryce Walker. I will always remember how it happened. He was on top of me... and I can't breathe."