God, Love & All Things Surf

Chapter 19: In God We Trust

"You know what Max? I'm sick of this." Thea commented as they walked along the beach. Her forehead creased as she voiced her frustrations. "This fear... I've let it influence my actions and control the way I think. I've just let it overpower me for too long."

Now this sounded more like his girl. "So what are you going to do about it?" He asked delicately, not really knowing what answer to expect.

"Today," He heard quiet determination in her voice as she replied "I am going to surf again."

"Are you positive that you want to go right to surfing Thea?" He didn't mean to doubt her, but she hadn't had the best track record lately. He didn't want her pushing herself over the edge, that is, if she hadn't already crossed it. He saw the tired and anxious lines that seemed creep onto her face more each day. "We could start with just swimming or having fun in the shallows..." his voice trailed off as she faced him with a spark in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a long time.

"Max, 'the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline'. I am going surfing today." She took a deep breath and muttered, "Come hell or high water."

From that moment, Max believed that God was empowering her to be steadfast in her decision.

Thea gripped her surfboard tighter as a small tremor ran down her arms, leaving her fingers tingling. She had made up her mind and there was no changing it. She only wished her heart and the rest of her body could be as easily controlled. Her heart hammered loudly in her ears and her sight turned to tunnel vision as her eyes swept the horizon. Fear was such a powerful emotion. But then so was love. And at this moment she couldn't tell which she felt more; fear for what she was about to do, or the passion she had for the thing she had been wanting for so long to get back to.

It was 8:00 in the morning but the sun was already high in the sky. There was a decent line-up of surfers in the water, floating on their boards as they waited for waves. People were leisurely walking the beach, the odd one jogging. Thea willed herself to step out from the protection of the tree line. As she walked out onto the white sand her toes tingled at the familiar sensation and memories began flooding back to her. She quickly shut them out and focused her steps toward the beautiful but equally terrifying expanse of water in front of her. It didn't matter if it was high tide or low; she was getting out there now.

Pulling herself together she blew out a strong, quick breath and ran into the oncoming waves. Then she let her surfing instinct take over. Surfboard in front of her, she dove over the foaming saltiness and paddled toward the group of friends waiting for her out in the lineup.

It felt surreal, as if she wasn't really the one doing it, but instead like someone was showing her footage from a GoPro with a life-like, crystal clear image.

'Paddle. Don't look around, just paddle.'

"Hey Thea! Glad to see you made it!" A faint, familiar voice called from the direction she was heading, still quite a distance away.

Thea didn't answer or even acknowledge that she had heard the voice. She kept telling herself, 'Head up, and paddle. Get to Malea, Komachi and Max and then you can stop.'

More shouts of praise came her way as she got closer to the lineup. "Yea Thea!" "Keep it up T!" "Don't tire yourself out Thea, your doing fine!"

Her shoulders started to ache and her arms were tiring but she didn't slow down. Her breathing was heavy and sweat mixed with salt water dripping down her face. Whoever said girls don't sweat was totally wrong. Normally she would have barely sweat a drop getting out to the lineup but she was out of shape, out of practice, and paddling as fast as she had ever paddled in her life. She was outrunning her fears.