Toy To Play With

Chapter 1

Dark and scary. Never knew what that words meant before. I lived my life without them. But now, they're always around. Hiding the demonds that are always haunting me. I don't know why they do that thought. But i can only really see them in my dreams, besides that, they're only shadows without shape. I don't know if they wanna hurt me, or protect me. They never talk to me, neither i talk to them. Yet i know they are real. I just... I know.

But doing everything while knowing they are beside me is rough. I can't concentrate as i used to. I can't pay attention as i used to. I can't memorize as i used to. And that just scares me.

Even now, when i open the window and the sunlight illumintes all my bedroom, all i see is darkness. And as i move, the shadows follow me. I'm not used to it, but it's just... Normal somehow.

I've been up since yesterday morning. I wasn't able to sleep. So i've been 24 hours awake. That is something that doesn't scares me. I must look horrible, but my dad didn't noticed. And i'm not caring about that at the moment. So i'm going to school with no make up, which is not that rare but still, and all i do is brush my hair.

So now i'm sat in my desk, surrounded by 30 more students who are, or talking and gossiping, or listening to music or reading or throwing paper balls at others. And it's only when the teacher arrives that i notice how tired i am. All i hear are mumbles and i can barely see anything, as if i had some sight problem, which i don't.

"Misses Bragh, may i go to the bathroom?" I raise my hand and manage to get those words out of my mouth.

"Class has just started. You can go after we finish." She said sharply and i let my head fall in the desk.

It probrably made a noise, but nobody seem to hear it. Not even the teacher.

After almost 3 hours sitting listening to topics that'll be useless for me in my life, i went to the libraby. I'm staying here for break.

30 minutes of sitting and thinking. Just thinking. What a good thing to do to spend my time!

I was hoping i'd just sit here and be in silence but Kayley, my best friend, entered the room.

"Heya!" She smiled. She is a not so tall, brunnete with hazel eyes girl, that unfortunately is not in my classroom.

It's funny the way we met really. It was my first day of school ever. I've been homeschooled until i was 12. Then my dad decided i should go out and "see the real world", so he sent me to this school. I was all alone because i was the new kid and since i was shy, nobody came and tried to talk to me. I was walking to class when i tripped and fall over Kayley. Two other kids had this weird thought that we were fighting. So they started to scream "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" And other kids joined. So Kayley decided to go with the flow. Then she whispered to me "Let's pretend to fight." I just smiled and agreeded. And until the principal came to separate our fake fight, we kept pretending to hit each other. And afterwards, we spend 4 or 5 hours in detention.

"Heya!" I tried to make a convincing smile. She feel for it. Not entirely... She knows something is wrong but she also know it's not the time to talk about it.

"Vacations start in a week!" She said happily. Which is strange because she hates vacations. That means spending more time with her parents. And it's more difficult to pretend someone doesn't exist when you have to spend 24 hours a day with them.

Kayley doesn't pretend her parents don't exist. Her parents pretend she doesn't exist. And i find that horrible. I told her to try and emancipate herself but she doesn't want it.

"So where do you wanna go?" She asks and i don't know what she's talking about.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, since my parents prefer to act as they don't have a daughter, i thought i could take advantage of that." She smiles. "Like if i ran away and died, they wouldn't care."

It's sad what she just said. I'd miss her every day of my life. But it's also true. Because her parents don't give a shit a about her...

"So i thought we could travel somewhere nice!" She says.

"That's cool!" Maybe a trip could be fun. Try and forget about the demons and shadows even though i think it's impossible. "So where do you wanna go?"

"I read about Argentina." Kayley likes reading. A lot. More than me. But she the type of books she reads is a bit different than the type of books i read. She reads about countries. You can ask her bunch of questions about countries, she might have almost all the answers. If she thinks Argentina could be a nice place, i'm on it. "My grandma lives in Buenos Aires. We could spend a few days there. She said it's so beautiful!"

"I didn't know your grandma lived in Buenos Aires." We laughed. Dispite the fact that Kayley and her parents never talk to each other, she has a strong bond with their parents. Her grandparents. "But okay. Never been to Argentina before so that should be interresting."

We laughed again.

All i have to do is ask my dad. It would be nice for him to have some time for himself. I mean, he's always working and when he isn't, he's worrying about me, since we don't get to spend that much time togheter. But if i was away for some time, he could make things for himself. He always cooks for me, he always do everything for me and i don't think that's fair because he barely doesn't do anything for him. So i guess it'd be a nice thing if he had some time alone.

"Yes!" She jumps and the librarian tells her to keep quiet. "If you're not going, it won't be any fun."

I hugged her and noticed that the 30 minutes are already up. How cool, back to listening to more useless things. Not all of it. But still...

I go back to my classroom and Kayley goes to hers. I'm pretty sure that she'll come to my house later so we can ask to my dad if i can go travel with her togheter.