Toy To Play With

Chapter 13

Elizabeth wakes me up. She must have heard me screaming.

"Kayley... Dream... Dead..." I say. But my mind's so messed up, i can't manage to say complete sentences.

"It's okay." She hugs me for a while. We are not that close, but i'm shaking and we both lost someone we loved so i guess it makes sense.

"I-I need to go out." I say freeing myself from her arms. She just nods as if she undertood.

I dressed up, got a coat and left.

I don't care where i'm going, i just need to get away...

I walk for what feels like 3 or 4 hours until i stop infront of a mall. I enter it and look for somewhere to sit. I found a bench next to a water fountain, so i sit there.

I look down at my feet but when i look back up, i see Carson. HOW THE HELL DID HE FOUND ME HERE?

"Is your friend still missing?" He says in a concerned way.

He's just playing Anna, just playing... I don't trust or believe him, even for a second!

I just stay in silence. I'm not going to answer his questions.

"Would you mind answering me?" He says.

"Yes, i would." I say getting up trying to get away from him.

"Hey! Get back." He follows me.

"Leave me alone!" I shout.

He continue to follow me until i find the girl's bathroom.

What the hell is he trying to do? In one minute he acts like the jurk flirty kind of guy and in the other he acts like the understanding friend. I won't fall for that, i won't let him play me.

He left, i think. Hopefully he won't ever find me again. However he does that, it's just creepy.

I walk out of the girl's bathroom, looking both way. There's no sight of Carson. Which is a big relief. So i just walk back go the bench i sat when i got here.

I take a few deep breaths. Kayley's alive, she has to be. There's still hope, i mean, nobody has found her body with bullet holes, or drowned in a river, or dead. So there possibility that she's alive can exist. Everything is possible right now and the possibility that i hope is going to happen is that Kayley just got lost but she'll find her way back or the police will find her sleeping inside malls.

She's pretty clever so i don't doubt she'd be able to do that.

Elizabeth isn't looking. Not that she can walk around day and night, she's old, she walks slowly and she has back aches... But still it just bugs me. Kayley is just... We've been inseparable, since i met her! So it's just hard.

I gotta think more logically and racionally, like Dr Brennan from Bones. There's no sign Kayley's alive, there's no sign she's dead, nobody knows about her whereabouts. So for now, she's just missing. Just missing. That's all...

If Kayley's alone, she'll be able to survive by herself. Kayley's smart, she won't do silly mistakes like go into a strangers house.

After i while, i buy some food - food with a lot of sugar by the way - and i go back to the bench.

I'm not ready to back to Elizabeth's house. Not just yet.

I feel like there's more that i can do but i don't know what! I've called Kayley's cellphone, left thousands of messages, searched wherever i could. I feel like i'm running out of options and Kayley is running out of time. But it's just a feeling, right?

When i notice is 5 pm, i get a taxi back. Not in the mood for a walk.

"Where have you been?" Elizabeth says when i get to the living room.

"I was at the mall... I just need some time alone. I'm sorry." I answer.

Elizabeth is the closest thing i have to Kayley right now, and i'm the closest thing to Kayley that she has. I guess that helps a bit... Just a bit.

"It's okay dear." She says.

Elizabeth's been shaky and out of herself since we found out Kayley was missing. Honestly, i don't blame her. But it just makes me feel kind of worst because it seems like she has no hope whatsoever that her granddaughter might still be alive.

I go to Kayley's room. She has to come back. She has too much waiting for her here, we have too much to lose without her...

Elizabeth comes to call me for dinner after some minutes. I don't answer for some seconds, which for me felt like hours. Then i say i'm not hungry. She hexitates a little but then leaves.

I'm laying in bed, with my head upside down and my arms falling off the matress. It's like i'm numb... Nothing to feel, nothing to consider feeling. I don't want to cry, i don't want to scream... I just want to stay here, watching the celing and wondering if it is as bad as it seems.

I was numb, until i start to lose it. The shadows also become more noticeble for me and i feel like the world just fell on me.

"Leave me alone..." I say louder then i expected. "Just let me alone okay?!"

"Anna, is everything alright?" Elizabeth knocks and i can hear but it's like i can't move.

I know that i can, but i don't want to, so it seems like my body is locked into the possition i am now - sitting above my own legs and staring at the wall.

"Anna?" She says again. When i don't answer for the 4th time she opens the door.

"Hi." Is all i can say.

She just looks at me concerned and leave the room. Maybe she thought i was being kidnapped too, i don't know.

I wish she hadn't opened the door though. I want to be alone.

"Completely alone." I add to the shadows. "You are creepy dangeous little things."

"I'm talking to shadows! I'm really getting crazy." I say to myself.

Later, i find myself laying in bed, with my head in the pillow crying my heart out.

"This isn't fair..." I whisper, but since i'm sobbing, it doesn't make a sound.

When i notice the time, i see it's past 1 am. Times flies...

Once i force myself to stop crying, i fall asleep and this time, there are no nightmares, but no dreams either.

"We haven't found her yet." A voice, proprably the police, wakes me up.

"Please please keep looking." Elizabeth begs.

"We're going everything we can ma'am." The man answers. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Elizabeth answers but not in the name she normaly would.

Instead of happy and smily, she's sad and seems lifeless.

I stand up and walk to the kitchen. I make coffe and drink it.

"Not feeling like going out today." I say to myself.

I spend the whole day under the blanket watching the tv shows that i can understand.

Kayley's not here, and not anywhere i've seen. I don't know where she is...