I Tried My Best To Love You (Sequel To YAMFB)

Chapter 5: Do I Wanna Know?

I lean in close to Ryan. It takes me a good minute to process his question before I respond.
"I go to school here."
"What a weird coincidence! My friend goes here too! How's Gerard?" He asks. I gently grab his wrist and pull him to the only quiet place I know in the vicinity, Hayley's room. I set the alcohol back down and sit on one of the beds.
"So how is everything?" He asks, slightly louder than he needed to be.
"Everything's going well. How are things with you?" I respond.
"Oh, well, you know. Not too bad. You look like shit though," he giggles before apologizing.
"You're drunk," I state, not necessarily unpleased but also not entirely pleased.
"That's why I'm here! My friend sent me the invite and said there'd be a lot of cute boys here! She's so nice!"
"How considerate of her," I respond, sarcastically. I can hear the distant bass echoing through the walls and I already feel a headache coming on. A few moments of silence pass by noticeably before Ryan pipes up again.
"Well if you want to sit here in silence, that's your choice but as for myself, I'm going back to party!" He shouts, standing up, grabbing a beer and leaving the room. I grab what I had set down, sigh and follow behind him. Maybe if I just let loose a bit, I'll be able to drown out what's in my head. As I head back into the swarm of sweaty bodies, I struggle to find anybody I recognize. I continue looking around but instantly feel fear bubbling inside of my gut. A wave of nausea crashes through me as people's faces melt together and the music pounds through my head. I can't find anybody I know and panic is raging through me. My heart feels like it's racing, trying to tear through my chest and there's a lump in my throat that feels the size of a baseball. My tongue feels dry and fuzzy and I can't seem to concentrate. All the faces blur and all of a sudden I can't keep down the food I ate with Josh before coming here. A rallying of people start to cheer. They lift me up and take the booze from my hands. Instead, a hose is handed to me.
"Puke and funnel, baby!" Some guy shouts in my ear as I'm lowered to the ground and the hose I'm holding begins to be filled with booze. I'm unable to tell what kind but next thing I know, someone is pushing me to my knees and lifting the end of the hose to my lips and telling me to drink. The crowd joins in with him in a chant of "Drink! Drink! Drink!" Unsure what to do, I open my mouth and feel the burn of alcohol hitting my tongue. I continue to just swallow as quickly as possible as more vodka funnels into my mouth. Finally, there's an end and I worry I may not be able to stand up. I shakily make my way to a standing position and the crowd begins to praise me. Once again, I'm hoisted up onto someone's shoulders.

When I'm finally set down once again, Josh is beside me.
"You're already becoming a legend at this party," he tells me.
"What for?"
"You're the first to vomit and then funnel back a whole bottle of vodka." Everything starts to feel a bit less intense. The music fades and my eyes feel heavy.
"It's cool though. Hayley thinks you're awesome," Josh continues. The more he says the less I can focus on what he's saying. The crowd feels further away and I begin to feel out of touch.
"Josh, I wanna get outta here," I can feel myself fighting to speak, as I attempt to figure out where the exit is.
"We're only just getting started!" He responds. I blink hard and try to clear my eyes. My skin feels hot and I can feel sweat dripping down my back. I turn around and start to walk, trying to find a way out of the crowd. I bounce through people like I'm in a pinball machine until I feel like I can't keep going. I stop in the middle of a group of people scream singing to a song that I can't quite make out. I begin to feel faint when a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I'm half guided, half carried through the sea of college kids. We get to a stairwell and finally the pulsating of music is dampened and my eyes can see a bit better. Before I can do anything, I double over and begin to vomit again. I can't make it stop for what feels like forever. Everything is numb but burning at the same time. I feel a moment of relief and stand back tall. As I turn to thank whoever got me out of there, my eyes roll back and I begin to fall.

I wake up and I am laying in a bed. The lights everywhere are so bright. My head feels like it was split in half. I look around the room with my eyes half closed. Everything in the room is painted white and my skin seems pale enough to match. There's an IV attached to me and a hospital bracelet dangling from my wrist. I feel like absolute death. I don't remember much from last night and yet I still feel like I want to remember less of it. I take another look around the room and spot a person sitting in a chair near the foot of my hospital bed. My eyes can't seem to adjust properly for a moment but once they do, I realize it's Gerard sitting there. How did he know I was here? Do I want to know how? He has his jacket laid over him as a makeshift blanket as he's curled into the chair, his black hair falling over his eyes.