Learning To Live

Chapter 4 - Self Centred Jerk

 - Jesse's POV -

   Amanda's eyes looked so, helpless. I shouldn't have done this. Not to her. She's so fragile, she always has been so fragile.

   I remember when we were eight, I finally excepted my feelings toward her. I don't know if I still feel the same. There's no way I do. It's been five years since I've seen her. I'm so different now, she's so different.

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"Hey Amanda?" She looked at me smiling with her silky Brown eyes. She was so beautiful. 

  "Yes?" 

"Do you want to meet my girlfriend?" Her smile immediately dropped. I might only be eight, but I can have the ladies at my feet in a snap of my fingers. I wanted her to be my girlfriend, our mothers would hardly approve. We are eight, my mom just laughs when I say I have girlfriend and replies 'Silly kids.' I agree, I've never been serious with my girlfriends, I have kissed some of them but come on, I'm irresistible. 

  "Sure." She didn't sound sure, to me. She sounded disappointed. I wanted to tell her I like her so bad and always have but I could never.

  "Tomorrow at the playground, recess I'll show her to you," I felt bad, "Amanda?"

   "Yes?" 

   "I promise you'll like her, I might invite her over to play, if mommy agrees tomorrow." Amanda made her way to the sandbox. Sitting on the side, she started to mold the sand with her hand and a bucket.  I felt the need to wrap my around her and just hold her. I wanted the pain in her eyes to disappear, but if I ever broke her heart, her parents would hate me. 

   When she's older, I hope she finds someone who loves her. She deserves better then me. I learned from watching Disney channel that when you love someone, you should let her go. 

   But I don't love her, do I? I don't even know what love is. 

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   "Mr. Well's, why were you kissing, ms. Cameron, in the hallway?" Can't I leave, already. We kissed, get over it. 

   " I have hormones." Cambria giggled, beside me. Principle Whatsherface, glared at her, shutting her up immediately. 

   "Unacceptable, I won't suspend you, but detention for both of you, after school today," 

Amanda's POV.

   I was sitting on Sam's bed, waiting for her to finish getting ready to go the mall. My grounding was finally over, after three long weeks. I was ready to shop. To be honest, I was ready to eat, and follow Sam while she shops.

   "Okay, I'm ready, let's go," 

   Sam's mom had dropped us off, of course we are only fifteen which by law, mean's we cannot drive. Unfortunately. 

   We went to every store, and I mean every store. My feet were killing me and yet Sam skipped happily down the corridor, as if we had just began. 

   After heading to the food court and grabbing some food, we sat down.

   "So tell me, how's it been living with Jesse?" Sam questioned, breaking the silence. How has it been. How has it been. How has it been. Good? Is that a suitable answer. I should spice it up.

   "Fine." I reply, happy with my decision. 

   "Just fine?" Oh how I dislike, Sam and her 'Alway's need to know more' self.