Learning To Live

Chapter 9- He called me a Princess and left me like a Peasant

"Hey mom, get any mail for me today?" I ask walking into the kitchen to see what's going on because everyone is sat around the table. They look as if someone had died.

"Actually yes," My mom searched through the pile of mail vigoursly before passing me a note.

I eyed over the letter not seeing anything strange, I also didn't reconize the adress which is strange. But I open the letter anyway.

'Hi baby girl,

This is something I have been meaning to do for a while now'

I take a seat next to Jesse, before continuing on with the letter.

'I woke up the other morning thinking of you and your mom, how much I missed you both. Did you miss me? I never meant to do what I did, you know. I couldn't take it though. I didn't mean to leave you both stranded like I did. My life has been good though, I have a girlfriend named Rose. I know what you're thinking, we do not have a kid. I miss waking up every morning and getting to hug you, and tell you how much I love you. I miss playing soccar with you in the backyard even in the rain because you were my sunshine. I miss coming home from work every evening and having you run into my arms. I want it all back, but it's to late for that. I hope you aren't to mad at me for doing what I did and I hope you can understand. It wasn't meant to be forever, I just wanted a break and one night I actually came home but just the sight of the house made me to nervous to even think about what I would say to you or your mother. I want to have dinner with you, Rose and I would love to take you out. You can take a friend or boyfriend with you if it would make you more comfortable. Preferably the boyfriend, I need to have my say in who he is. I want you to meet us there on Thursday evening, dress niceley. I hope you'll be there, it would mean a lot to us.

'~Dad

Layingthe note on the table I feel the tears now. Rolling down my cheeks. My dad. Daddy. He wants to meet me. It's been so long since I've seen him, and since he left. I don't know if I'm ready but I have to do it. I can't live the rest of my life wothout him, he didn't leave because he didn't love us anymore. He still loves us, loves me.

I look up at everyone at the table. I look at Jesse, who nonchalantly reaches up and wipes away a tear. I couldn't tell from looking at him if he felt pain or pitty. Either way I knew I couldn't sit here or I would cry myself dry. Pushing myself away from the table I walk past the living room slowly, looking at the floor the whole time, into the hallway and onto the stairs. Before I knew it I was cuddled into the teddy bear my father had given me when I was nine. I didn't want to cry I just wanted to be comforted but I didn't want to see anyone at the same time. When I start crying it's hard to please me. I want to be alone all the time but when I push people away I want them to come back. I miss everything me and my father did together, I miss kite flying, swimming, soccar, playing dress up. Most of all I think I just miss being alone, because of him leaving mom always worked longer and I was alone almost all the time unless I was at Sam's. Things have been different since he left. I remember the day I found out he had left us.

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"Amanda, I have to talk to you okay sweetie?" I sat down at the kitchen table, while mom poured me a cup of apple juice, I was never a fan of orange juice, it sickened me.

"Baby, you're dad,well he left" Left? Like on a vacation? Without us? Oh he better not have gone to disney land he knows how much I want to ride all of the wonderful magnificent rides. I especially want to go to the castle and get a makeover to be a disney princess and then go to the fancy restuaraunts.

"Where?" She looked so serious that I decided against giving my little rant about how much I want to go to disney land and do all the fun things I can do.