CODE RED (Book 1)

Changed

I lay there, in Alex's bed. He slept peacefully beside me. Slowly breathing quietly, his warm breath swept over the side of my neck as I stared up at the dark but slightly lit sealing of his bedroom.

It was early in the morning, barely the sun was over the horizon yet. I could tell by the still darkened sky from Alex's window just a few feet away from us on the bed. It was quiet the entire house was this way. I found it strange. Usually I was used to hearing my mom get up and prepare for work but this was different.

I grasped a hold of Alex's fingers that had intertwined with mine in my sleep before I had suddenly woken up from another sudden nightmare of my father. I sighed closing my eyes for a few seconds. I let my racing heart calm down as I squeezed tightly to his hand draped over my chest where my heart was. I didn't bother to wake him over another one of my dreams figuring it was only another nightmare, I could deal with it alone.

Like I would normally do before I had met him.

I hadn't been able to sleep well that night, still to distracted about my fall out last night with Alex. I felt oddly embarrassed and idiotic but he comforted me telling me not to worry about how I portrayed myself in the way I had acted. He had told me I had only been upset over my mothers distraught attitude towards me and that everything would be fine in a matter of days.

I hoped he was right. But deep down I doubted the last words he said. This problem wasn't going to go away in a matter of days. I had a feeling my mother was about to step into a whole new world of grief but still I wasn't completely sure. It must have been my brain over thinking things. I only hoped.

I turned my head over to look at Alex's peaceful face as he slept. His red hair sprawled out over his left eye as he laid on his side facing me. He looked. . .cute this way. I hadn't seen his face look so calm until now. I was glad to see it. I examined his features closely just now noticing his eye lashes. They were long, with the colors of slightly red but more black hairs. It surprised me to know that his hair color was natural this whole time I thought he had dyed it red and black but he was really born with it.

Before I knew what I was doing I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead before slowly removing myself from under the covers and stood. I found my T shirt draped over his closet's door knob before putting it back on.

I opened his door slowly as not to wake him and slipped out before closing it right back. I looked at the grandfather clock they had in the hallway next to the bathroom. The time was 4:09Am still to early for us to get up for school.

I went into the bathroom and rinsed my face with cold water. I turned the facet off and dried my face with a towel. Pulling the towel away from my face I looked into my reflection and saw the wrapped bandages around my wrist, I felt like I was reliving something, the way I used to be or maybe I hadn't changed at all. Maybe my attitude was still the same.

I felt some what uncomfortable about this. It wasn't like I wanted myself to change but more like I expected myself to. Deep down was I still the scared teen who cut himself just wishing his dad's torment was over? Or had I changed just a bit? . . . I couldn't have my answer mainly because I couldn't think of one.

I didn't feel the need to go back to bed I just wanted to wonder.

I found myself downstairs sitting at the kitchen table hearing the slight ticking of the clock from up stairs. I rested my head on the back of my hand closing my eyes in thought.

What was I to do now?

"Couldn't sleep?" came a voice.

I snapped my eyes open and looked up to see Alex standing there hands in his pockets with a small smile on his lips. That smile that I was too familiar with.