Flower Boy (BoyxBoy)

xxxvii

kevin.

I WALK INTO EDD CRYING TONIGHT. He is sitting under his five blankets, and although it's a bit muffled, I can still hear him weeping quietly into his pillows. Edd tried to stop when I walked in, but when I looked at his lump of blankets I saw it moving with his shaky breaths.

I ignored it at first. I walked past him slowly and went to the bathroom before getting into my bed. Being in the darkness of the room was the hardest part. That's when the ignoring got difficult because I could hear his quivering breaths no matter how hard I tried not to. I put my earbuds in and tried to block it out with that, but I felt bad.  After about half an hour, I turned off my music.  I can't do this; it's not that I'm annoyed, but the fact that he's trying to hide it but can't is just too pitiful.

I walk over to Edd's bed. When he senses my presense, he gasps quietly.

"Edd," I say.

He peeks out from under his blankets.  His eyes are bloodshot, and his face is completely soaked in tears.  "Y-Yes?"

"Let's go out somewhere," I state. "I can't sleep."

Edd closes his eyes and groans. "Really? It's midnight."

"Yeah, come on," I touch his arms. "I'll treat so let's go get some food."

Edd slowly sits up in his bed. He mutters a fine and goes into the bathroom. I smile to myself as I throw on a grey sweatshirt and Adidas trainers. As I'm pulling up my pants, Edd comes out of the bathroom in a baggy white sweatshirt and his own pair of loose trainers.  He smiles at me as he walks up to me, which makes me smile.  His eyes are puffy but other than that he looks well.  

"Where are we going?" He asks. He slips his hood over his beanie.

"Let's go to Waffle House."

Edd nods and follows me. "I've never been there."

I laugh as I remember all the memories I have at that rinky-dinky restaurant.  I tell Edd about all the 2 a.m. trips I've taken there all throughout high school; smoking joints while my friends and I speed down the highway listening to whatever we felt like vibing to that night.  We always got the same thing, but we went to different Waffle Houses every time; late-night drives were our "thing," after all.  He explains that he's never done anything like that before.

"I'm kind of jealous of you, Kevin," Edd laughs.  "I didn't have many friends my last year of high school."

"Why not?"

Then, surprisingly, he tells me something I never expected he'd say:

"I was isolated in my senior year.  Alex made sure my friends and I couldn't stand each other without even trying."

I don't know what to do.  Should I ask him more questions?  I want to, but I also don't want him to bring back those walls he's had around himself.  Eventually, I ask, "Your ex?" 

He looks at me like a deer in headlights, as if he didn't even realize what he said.  His gaze returns to the ground.  "Yes."

I nod, humming so he knows I heard him.  I understand him.

The night's cool air weaves through my hair and kisses my cheeks.

"I love this weather," I tell him. "It's perfect."

Edd hums. "I wish it was warm. Cold weather makes me think too much."

I glance to my right to find him smiling. His face, like mine, is flushed from the gentle wind.

"Yeah, me too," I say. "I think about school a lot. And my dad."

"Your dad?"

I take a deep breath. "This was his favorite weather. He loved Thanksgiving too, but it's not the same as it was before.  Since he lives in a home, we spend holidays there, which isn't bad, it's just... different."