Flower Boy (BoyxBoy)

lxix

edd.

WE LEFT A LITTLE LATER THAN SCHEDULED, but Kevin assured me multiple times that it would be okay. On the way, we talked about a lot of things, like what we did over break and how our holidays were. He told me that he came out to his family officially, not as anything in particular, but he told them he was dating me. He also told me that his parents like me, which makes me unbelievably nervous and happy at the same time. I told him about my first Christmas in years that I shared with Eddy, and about how well therapy is going. Although I had a panic attack about a week ago, it was the first one in a while that wasn't caused by my PTSD. Not only that, but I haven't been letting my trauma cloud my judgment as much as it used to. I explain to Kevin that I've been eating more and taking more consideration into how I dress. Kevin responded by taking my hand in his own and telling me, "Edd, I'm so, so happy to hear that! You've been working so hard, babe. I can tell."

His sudden declaration fills me with butterflies.  Kevin is the only person that I can talk to about my illnesses and my progress without feeling like I'm bothering him. Even Eddy has moments where I feel like I'm boring him with my problems, and it's not like he's trying to do that; it's understandable why he wouldn't understand sometimes. But Kevin's praise makes me full of happiness, and it gives me hope that I really am doing better.

About an hour into our drive as we listen to music and talk about little things, I ask where we are. He laughs and tells me to 'be patient, we're almost there'. Then, a few minutes later, he lets go of my hand and tells me to cover my eyes. I'm confused, but I do what he asks, even if it feels silly.

"What's happening?" I ask, chuckling.

"Just wait! We're almost there, and I want it to be a surprise!"

I can't help but smile at his childish sentiment to keep this a secret; it's so cute to see him excited about our date. It makes me think about all the dates I dreamed about in high school; the dreams I forgot about by the time I entered college. The darkness behind my eyelids changes as the sunlight shining between trees offers ink-blot images of the leaves and branches between my fingers.

We make two right turns before I feel a slight incline as if we're going up a hill. Two minutes later, Kevin parks the car and places his hand over my own.

I hum and ask him if I can look, to which he responds by placing a kiss on my cheek and telling me, 'Yes."

When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is an almost completely full parking lot in front of a large concrete building that's labeled, Longwood Gardens. I scan the whole scene, starting at the front of the building until I notice the large trees and beautiful floral bushes bordering the steel fence around the perimeter.

"Where are we?" I ask him excitedly.

Kevin offers me a bright smile as he says, "Longwood Gardens. It's, like, a huge garden! Do you like it?"

"Oh, Kevin, of course!" I exclaim. Much to his surprise, I lean over and plant a short kiss on his lips. Afterward, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me again. "Thank you," I tell him, our noses barely touching.

"Of course, babe," he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. I think this is the first time I've made him blush. "Are you ready?"

I nod, and we both exit the car. When Kevin gets to my side, he surprises me by taking my hand as we walk up to the front doors. I'm not going to question him--I'll just be happy.

kevin.

As soon as we step inside, we're greeted by a whole ballroom full of fir trees and colorful flowers I've never seen before. I love to watch Edd's eyes light up as we walk around the crowded room. We stopped at almost every bush and vine, which was perfectly fine with me because if I had to choose between graduating school instantly or spending the day with my beautiful boyfriend in a huge botanical garden and listening to him talk about shit I don't understand, I'd choose Edd everytime. (And I really hate school.) (Okay, I don't hate it, but who wouldn't want to graduate early?)