one year to love

13: the story

trigger warning: mention of rape

"What? What do you mean?" Bailey asked urgently.

"Bailey, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I liked you from the moment I knew you, I didn't want you to leave."

"Faye, I wouldn't have left! Why would you even think that?" Bailey almost shouted.

"Because! Because... I don't know. I'm so sorry," I looked down.

"Hey, it's okay. Just, talk to me, okay?"

"You can just kick me out and forget about me."

"What? Faye, why would I do that?"Bailey grabbed my hand.

"Why wouldn't you?"

Bailey sighed, "Can you please just tell me what's going on?" Before she could finish her sentence, I burst into tears again.

"I don't know how," I wailed.

"Calm down, calm down. It's okay," Bailey lifted my head up and looked at my face, "take a deep breath."

I thought it was completely stupid at first and continued to cry. Then she told me to breathe in and did it with me. She counted to three and then told me to exhale. We did it three times before I realized I had calm down enough to stop sobbing.

"When I was 13...I ran away. My parents and I got into some stupid fight or something, I don't even remember."

Bailey nodded her head to tell me to continue.

"It was kind of late and I was planning on going to my best friend at the time's house. Her older brother was sitting outside with some of his friends and telling jokes. When he saw me, he got up and asked if I was okay. I just shrugged my shoulders. He took me inside to his bed and told me I could stay there, but I would owe him something in return. I agreed and he went back outside." I sniffled. Bailey wiped a tear from my face. "I fell asleep, but when I woke up my clothes were off and he-" I held back another sob and shook my head.

"I had no idea, Faye. God, I am so sorry."A tear streamed from Bailey's eyes to her neck.

"I spent eight years ignoring how often, and bad, I got sick. A month or two ago, or something, I finally saw a doctor. It turns out, I, uh, have sexually transmitted disease, a bad one. And since it went a long time without treatment, the doctor said there was nothing they could do. So I decided that I wasn't going to go out like a depressed, sick person, you know? That's why I came here with a bucket list."

Bailey didn't respond for about ten seconds.

"Wow, that is just awful." She let go of my hands and squeezed me into a hug. "I know that you're not supposed to ask 'are you okay', but I honestly can't think of anything else to say."

"You don't have to say anything. And yes, I am okay, now."

"Do you need anything?" Bailey asked after pulling away from the hug. I shook my head.

"I would totally understand if you want to break up and never see me again, don't just hang around me because you feel bad."

"Of course I feel bad, but this doesn't change the way I feel about you! I want to be around you because you make me laugh and you're sweet, and you make me get out of my comfort zone. When I'm around you, my heart starts pounding and my stomach feels all weird, but somehow it's such a great feeling. I'm not going to give up on you, Faye."