My Life Full of Pain

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Nick’s Point of View

I stare at the ceiling in my room…. Thinking of Karin is killing me. Why is she always in my mind? I don’t love her… I don’t think I do…

I get up and go to the kitchen. The food Damien made the day before, bacon and eggs, now resided in the fridge. I picked up the bowl of food and took out the jug of milk. I pour the milk in a glass and warm up the food. I move sluggishly around the kitchen, trying to get my mind off of the previous events and off of Karin.

Was she actually trying to kill me? Or was the whole plan Jeb’s? Did Jeb force her to make the clones and to kill me? Maybe he was just enjoying the show she put on for him and then he just snatched her when he had the opportunity and switched her with the clone. But I don’t get why she would want me dead. Did he give her a mission too, was she assigned to kill me off? And why did Jeb want Karin? Why does he still have her? I thought he only wanted her for experiments.

GOD DAMMIT!

Why do I keep thinking about her, I shouldn’t even care about her, she’s not important. She’s not worth it anymore, she tried to kill me!

“Maybe, even with your claims, you actually love her. You wouldn’t be beating yourself up over this just for nothing, unless you actually cared about her.” I turn around to see Jake looking at me with a slight smile on his face but his eyes display a look of concern.

“And why would you think that? I’m not beating myself over her, I’m not even thinking about her!” I said trying more to convince myself than him.

“We both know you’re lying. Come on, you have to have some feeling for her no matter how psychotic she is! Why don’t you just go and help her?” Jake said leaning against the kitchen table.

“She tried to kill me! What if she actually wants me dead? And when I go to help her, she just kills me?” I ask Jake, paranoid know that she’s out to get me. God, why did I even get myself involved with this?

“She doesn’t want you dead.”

“How the hell would you know that?!” I asked outraged.

“She was simply testing you. When I and Damien found her in that diner, she told us she wouldn’t get involved with you because she needed to trust you. She wants to trust you more than just telling her the truth. She could care less if you lie to her because come on, she’s been lying to you and playing tricks on you. No, what she really wanted was to know if she could trust you with her life. She insecure, she has a freaking rapist/murderer after her, don’t you think that would take a toll on her? She wants to know if you’re capable of protecting her. That fight with Jeb was a test of your strength and smarts. But it just happened that the actual Jeb came in and interrupted her. It was pretty obvious of her intentions if you looked deep enough. I figured this all out when we were in the diner talking to her. I thought you of all people would have figured this out first. But at the end of it all, you lost her trust when anger took over you and you “killed her.” That was the ultimate test. She kept throwing snarky remarks and acted like she didn’t care at all for anyone or anything but in reality, she wanted to see if you’d crack under the pressure, and you did. Nick, you’re a real idiot….” I stared at Jake in awe. How did he figure all this out? Haha, maybe I am an idiot, but only when it comes to Karin.

“I guess Jake’s right. Even I didn’t understand Karin’s true intentions. She seemed to at ease with Jeb around; obviously it had to be a test. But then Jeb interfered and caused you real damage. If anything Jake is right, but you can’t go save her in your condition. I mean come on, the right side of your body is pretty much burned to a crisp and your left leg is pretty messed up, I don’t even know how you’re alive.” Damien said coming down from upstairs.

I grab the eggs, bacon and milk from the kitchen and sit at the kitchen table eating slowly. My throat feels dry and I can barely swallow.  Damien and Jake take a seat across from me. Stephan came out of his room and sits next to me, stealing a piece of my bacon.

“So what are you going to do Nick?” Damien asks.

I chew the bacon slowly, thinking. Should I go after her, assuming what Jake said is true. Maybe I do have feelings for her, maybe just friendly feelings and nothing romantic. But Damien has a point, I’m in no condition to fight Jeb…

“I’m going to go after her…” I said finally. I feel unsure of this, but what I do know is, I want to protect her, even if I die. If I die trying to protect her, at least she’ll realize that I wasn’t a bad person.

“Then I guess you’re not going alone.” Jake said, a small smirk playing on his lips. He looked towards Damien and Stephan; they all nodded at each other.

“What are you talking about?” I asked confused, why would they come, they can’t do anything against Jeb, and if Jeb decides to use fire, they’re dead.

“You can’t go alone; you’re not able to fight. We don’t know what we’re up against, but for the most part leave the fighting to us. Your job is to track down Karin, pick her up, and run the hell out of there. We’ll be your distraction.” Jake said, the smile on his face growing wider. He’s got this all planned out.

“This is never going to work! Jeb has a lot of men posted in his little hideout. Plus if Jeb decides to use fire, we’re all dead and you guys can’t get close to it, and I can’t heal like Karin, so this whole plan can go up in smoke!”

“That’s where your mind comes in handy. Find Karin, tell us how many men there are, tell us where they are and then leave the fighting to us. Besides the only ones with the power in there is going to be Jeb and Karin. Most likely wherever Jeb is, Karin’s with him, so when you get there, Damien’s coming with you and he’ll distract Jeb while you grab Karin. Or just make a bunch of clones, station them around the house as an ambush and we’ll all raid in and grab Karin. How does that sound?”

“I don’t know if the clones will work… Jeb might see through them and make his men ignore it. Maybe clones might not work in this fight but we can still try. I can just make clones, and make them look like random people in for a raid.” I said trying to work this whole thing out in my head. “I just don’t know about Jeb…. He might just kill us all before we even get to Karin.”

“Stop being such a pain in the ass and let’s get this over with. If you die, you died trying, got it, now let’s go!” Stephan said, his hands clenched in fists and his face determined.

 Hahaha, Stephan has always been the type to get things going, he’s so impatient.

“Why the rush Stephan? I thought you said to never get involved with Karin and that she’s trouble.” I retort to him.

“Hey, when we get her back, I want a fair match with her! She’s just a weak little girl, I can beat her! And she needs to pay for what she did to you and for making us go through all this for her!” Stephan said victory written all over his face.

Stephan actually cares for me more than I thought. I didn’t think my condition had any effect on him. I guess he just secretly hates Karin because she made him seem like the bad guy. But Stephan is a really good guy, he just lets his words and rash actions get the better of him.

“We’ll then I guess we should head out now, find out where she is. The faster we get this over with, the less torture she has to go through.”

I think back to when I was with Jeb, the torture I went through is probably nothing to what she has been going through all her life. But for some reason I feel like I’ve known her longer than just high school. For some reason… I feel like I’ve known her when I was being tortured, or even before that. Her face seems like a face I’ve seen before, it seems like a face I’ve seen, crying for help. One locked in a cage… but I can’t… I can’t reach that memory…

I remember Kile saying he saved her and took her to Jeb at the age of six. But I feel like I’ve known her even before then. Jeb took me in when I was young too, but I don’t remember how old I was. But Karin seems so familiar, like I’ve known her my whole life without even realizing it.

When I get Karin back I have to ask her if she remembers me… If she remembers Fang.

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-KarinKunoichi