Hopeless

Every Star is Perfect

The world twisted around him yet again. He sank to his knees as air was taken from him. Lost inside his mind, faint dots started clouding his vision. Sweat pooled in his hands as his heart felt weak and roared beyond comprehension. As if trying to pull out of his chest. Another panic attack for seemingly no reason. Jamie just couldn't control them, he was glad for them mostly happening at home alone. But maybe that's why they were happening so often. Jamie, as popular from being the mailman he was, was lonely most of the time. People didn't seem to want to be friends with him, save Steven and maybe Connie. Even they didn't know him enough to be classified "friends". Sure, Barb was a good co-worker but he wouldn't mind having others. And this day just was not getting better. He almost had a meltdown at work and blew up at Brab over something he can't even remember. And when he finally finished his shift he has another panic attack! Life just wasn't on his side today. He had no clue what was wrong with him, there couldn't be anything truly, he was sure of it. But all these mental breakdowns made him feel pathetic and useless. The customers did not help much, always yelling and demanding things out of his control. Today he really just wanted to curl up and die. His chest kept heaving for air that tickled his face and body but would not enter his lungs. His body was fighting itself tearing him apart. Jamie needed something, he just didn't know what. The silence was corroding him it was 6pm when he got home, it only took ten minutes for him to freak out again. It wasn't his fault, he couldn't control it. A while later his mind started to ease and the world came back to him. He felt utterly defeated. It was 1 am when he decided he couldn't fall asleep and needed to go somewhere. He thought a trip over the beach would be nice. Throwing on a thin blue jacket and grabbing his keys he walked out of his apartment and down to the beach.

~~~~~~~

Kevin's mind was running full circle again. Thinking of everything at once but hearing nothing. He gripped the steering wheel tightly. Normally, he wouldn't go anywhere near the center of the town he lived in, but today there was no other way. It was late, no one would see him lying on their large beach. He dropped his car off at an abandoned parking lot and walked down to the beach. Sound might help his mind off of this episode. He laid down near the water in the middle of the beach, letting the once annoying but now soft sounds of waves lull him to sleep.

******

Jamie stepped off of the boardwalk and into the soft sand, hands shoved deeply in his pockets. He walked down to the water and looked out to the horizon, seeing the beautiful sunset that he forgets to look at most of the time. He made a mental note to watch it more. He walked down the beach hearing soft breathing near him. This was confusing, the ocean waves, rocks and sand, all had their own sounds, and most of those were silent. He looked around again, down on the sand around him and in front of him. There lay a darkened figure of a young man. His skin looked maroon in the light of the falling sun. Jamie didn't know what to do. He had never seen this person before and they certainly did not look homeless lying on a towel and dressed in boots, black jeans, a dark blue T-shirt and a white scarf. Jamie stared at the sleeping figure, trying to find out who this person was and if he had ever seen them before. He then tried to step around the person as to not wake him up. But the strangers eyelids flickered open and seemed to strain before fully understanding what was happening. Jamie flinched and squeaked in surprise. Before falling on his ass. The stranger sat up quickly staring back at Jamie. 

"what the hell man?!" 

"s-sorry!" Jamie scooted back hiding his face as he expected the man to hit him

"who just walks on someone sleeping like that! Now I'm going to be all fucked up again" Jamie looked at him quizzically after stuttering out another sorry. The man sighed, exasperated he went back to lying down closing his eyes forcefully.  This guy was not helping his anxiety go down, but for some reason he just could not bring himself to leave.  He sat down crossing his legs and looking back at the stranger.