Hopeless

Most Entitled to the Disease

******

When Jamie woke up he felt the slow coming of reality and a dip in the bed near his feet. He looked up and saw Kevin reading one of his many books. He sat up quickly shit he totally thought that was a dream. But Kevin moved and looked back at him, his eyes were dark and exhausted as if he didn't sleep. 

"Good morning" Kevin said in a manor Jamie was not expecting to wake up to, but the company felt.... good where he was normally alone. 

"What time is it?" He groaned and sat up getting out of bed and stretching. 

"about ten" Kevin shrugged and looked up at Jamie, Jamie's reality quickly came back to him and is heart flipped, melted and also died. fuck he was going to be late for work. He instantly ran to his closet and pulled out his mail uniform, running to the bathroom to put it on. 

"Woah woah woah" He heard called after him.

"What, I'm going to be late!" 

"Work....?" 

"What do you not have a job?" He tried to yell over a tooth brush

"Uh... No" 

"Really..." He walked out of the bathroom and stared at Kevin, light filtered through a window and made Kevin a dark silhouette against it. He was slightly taller than Jamie so he looked more composed, but still slouched in the darkness. "Well... I uh realize you and I don't really know each other, so..."

"Shhh" Kevin looked into Jamie's eyes intensely "It's alright baby I can leave."

What the hell? Jamie was very confused. What did Kevin just call him? What the hell happened last night? Kevin turned on his heel and started for the door, Jamie was stuck in to the floor and couldn't move. When the door shut behind Jamie he was put into action. He grabbed his keys and breathed out, feeling the new emptiness of the hell around him. He didn't realize how nice it was to have another presence near him. He paused by the door, not truly understanding what was happening. But he quickly opened the door and remembered work had already started so much earlier. People would be pissed. He ran to the post office and saw Barb working the desk, he was about to apologize before Barb silenced him with look. Not anything scary or disheartening, but a worried look. Something a mother would show her children if they depressed her with actions. Then it occurred to Jamie, that's exactly what he did. He opened his mouth but Barb started talking first.

"You know Jamie, I've been worried about you for a while" oh god she sounded just like a disappointed mother. It was really fucking scary, hearing those words from Barb. Because those same words have been the theme of his life since his anxiety started. "You've been acting off lately.."

"Nope! Everything fine! Don't worry I'm great!" Jamie flashed her a winning smile and walked out of the post office with his mailbag and a package for Steven. She called after him something he couldn't hear, he hoped it worked. A life time of acting supplied very good skills on lying. Probably something he should be worried about. But he went on with his deliveries none-the-less, waking with emptiness around him and a head of pain. 

~~~~~~~~~

Now you can't blame Kevin for leaving, honestly it's all he thought about for the rest of the day. He was tired as fuck but just couldn't sleep. And he was struggling not to scream with all the pent-up anger from yesterday. There was always anger inside Kevin, it was something he couldn't escape. He felt bad about letting Jamie go to work, it was obvious the boy had something go on in his head. Something dark he doesn't really understand. And even if Kevin wanted to be there for him they had just met. Jamie wasn't going to trust this complete socially inept stranger. Because once a spark of hate crossed Kevin's mind, Jamie would be sent running. He needed to control his anger, steer away from what an illness and horrible parents can cause someone. He was surprisingly self aware for someone with his attitude. And he understood things about people, things they sometimes couldn't know about themselves. But he seemed like an airhead. His past had taught him otherwise, taught him how to know things.