Hopeless

Try Again

~~~~~

When Kevin woke up the air around him was airy and cold. He looked around, breathing slowly and contently. It was obvious he was on Jamie's couch, the stacks of books around him made him slowly fade back to reality. Jamie's house was a safe space. Last night he walked Jamie back home when his breathing slowed and he seemed to be in a better place. He insisted that Kevin didn't need to stay with him all night again. Of course it was only noon and Kevin stayed with Jamie until he fell asleep. The boy deserved to sleep more, he seemed exhausted from just thinking. So when night did come Kevin severely regretted sleeping, dreams come when you sleep. With a mind like Kevin's there is almost no way to escape from night terrors. It was like dying all again. He was used to them at this point, that didn't make them any less threatening.

It started off with images of his father beating him and his mother laughing. Sometimes demons who pushed into his mind with their nails and teeth, eroding him. These nightmares were products of the pressure on his head all the time. The leering painful pressure that the world forced into him. Like streams forcing their way though each crack and crevice of his mind. Dreams now were more creepy and long, like a disturbing movie you were forced to watch. He would rather have stayed up with Jamie asleep all night than see another choking dream. He knew for the rest of the day he would be experiencing that sickening gut feeling. It didn't matter what he wanted.

He stood up and looked at the time on his phone. 7:55 am, perfect. He walked into Jamie's room where he found the other male sitting up and placing a letter inside an envelope.

"Hey" He breathed out knocking slightly on the door frame. Jamie yelped and quickly hid the card in his blanket. Kevin quirked an eyebrow towards him but decided against asking about it because of the obvious blush Jamie was trying to hide. "It's about eight, do you have work today or are you taking the day off?"

Jamie quickly leaped out of bed, which was weird because he seemed to have been up for a while. And he was already prepared for the day in his work uniform. Today was full of surprises. He walked up to Kevin and hugged him, which made step back slightly and then give in.
They exchanged no words that morning , Jamie didn't seem to be in the mood to talk. But, he was very touchy. And seemed to need to hold on to something. He was constantly hugging Kevin and lightly touching  him, seeming slightly needy to an extent Kevin was glad for. And eventually Jamie did leave, but he said nothing and didn't tell Kevin to leave. But out of sheer good nature he decided to follow Jamie out the door. 

Now, he didn't attempt to follow Jamie all the way to his work. That would be a little stalker-ish wouldn't it. He also could not be in Beach City for that amount of time. The people there were just horrendously fake and pathetic. Dealing with them just wasn't on his bucket list. 

Then again, he also didn't want to go home. He risked coming home to his parents who were probably still on a business trip. They left about a week or two ago, and would probably have stayed for three more if they could. Home also risked being alone for so long.

Alone.

By himself, a slave to his thoughts. People could at least let him ignore his rash outbursts and quick changes in emotion. Sometimes they were the cause of them, but people like Jamie who were soft and understanding, or who he could understand, were more calming than alarming. 

Yeah it sounds like he has mood swings, like some teen with hormones. But this was something different, something no one took seriously or understood very well. He supposed this was what caused him to enjoy understanding things, knowing them as well. Because it was just who he could be underneath all that facade most people put on. A face even he can't avoid. 

In the end he decided to set up a spot for himself on the beach. Far away from the creepy lady with tons of arms. He wouldn't admit this, but it kinda freaked him out.