Hopeless

Fall

*****

Realizing you are human takes a lot more than being born and told. 

Jamie quickly ran up the stairs to his apartment, unlocked the door and propped it open with a chair. He then ran back downstairs and grabbed Kevin by the arms attempting to carry him up the stairs, failing still and dragged him instead. Eventually, he did drag Kevin inside and got him on the couch. 

He took the chair out of the doorway and let it close. Then went back to Kevin and unwrapped the blood soaked shirt from his arm. There was a lot of blood in humans. Luckily he didn't seem to have damaged the vein too much and they could probably avoid hospitalization. He ran into his bathroom for a second and returned with rubbing alcohol and a thick cloth he never really had use for. He tightened it around Kevin's arm in attempts to stop the bleeding, then stood up and grabbed a few Advils from his cupboard. He left them on his wooden coffee table for when Kevin was in a better place and would need to take them. 

For the next while he sat on the table hopelessly holding Kevin's hand and trying not to lose it. His mind was full of dark thoughts making him fear the situation more than what was probably necessary. He fiddled with Kevin's fingers for a bit and was suddenly overcome by so many negative thoughts that to calm his worry he leaned over Kevin and listened for his audible breathing. And when that wasn't enough he felt the other mans neck for a pulse, getting a groan from Kevin which made him leap back and almost fall over his coffee table. 

"Fuck" He heard from Kevin, who was squeezing his eyes shut and bending his wounded arm. 

"Hurt yourself pretty good, huh?" Jamie asked softly and watched as Kevin sat up and held his head. He seemed liked he was having trouble with something, because a look of overwhelming exasperation crossed his face and made him visibly tense. 

"Fuck me." He groaned out again and sadly slammed his head back onto the couch letting out a whine of frustration.  

"It's okay" Jamie attempted to console "we all have our ups and downs.. You should talk to me about it. 'Give sorrow words; the grief that doesn't speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break'" He causally quoted Shakespeare, in attempts to seem smarter. But Kevin only sighed and started undoing the bandage on his arm, Jamie didn't protest for fear of another outburst. He watched as Kevin eyed his wound and was launched into action after realizing it stopped bleeding so much. He took the rubbing alcohol and dosed a cotton ball in it then tried to press it against Kevin's wound. But instead, Kevin waved him off and continued watching small streams of blood trickle down his arm. 

"Kevin, I need to do this so you don't get infected." He said in a sweet, demanding, manner. Kevin only grunted in response and kept watching his arm. This pissed Jamie off slightly, he didn't like how Kevin was eyeing his own wound like it was some sort of necessity. It was painful to see. Kevin hurting wasn't in his best interest. So, he decided that he would have to do whatever it takes to get his attention from the cut for a while. He sat next to him and placed his hand into his, squeezing it lightly. Honestly, he was close to tears knowing that Kevin could have accidentally killed himself if he went any deeper. He would have to mention this later. As of now he moved so that he was leaning slightly on Kevin, placing his head in the crook of the other mans neck. "Kevin~" He whispered out in a slow soft way attempting to distract him. "Sweetheart~" He sung and kissed the bottom of his jawline. "C'mon love, I need you right now." When none of this ended up working he decided to resort to more physical things, and moved so he was basically straddling him again. Then attempted to look into his eyes, when that didn't work he moved his arms around Kevin's neck and couldn't take it anymore. He closed the space between them in a hug, wrapping himself around Kevin and sniffling as he bit back tears once again. As much as he wanted to cry right there he knew he had to stay strong for Kevin, if he didn't they would both be a shit show and nothing would turn out quite right.