In The Long Run

Almost

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Almost:

　

I decided to take a few days off of school (emailing my counselor in advance) and take a walk. I decided to spend this day on me, subsiding the fact that my best friend Leslie was coming home tonight.

I raided my closet until I found my purple tote. I tucked in my phone and headphones in the front zipper. Next, I packed a book, a small, thin blanket, some snacks I kept in my side dresser and a few other small things, like sunscreen and stuff like that.

I then stripped and slipped on a red bikini top. Over that, I put on a thin, beige sweater that hung low on my left shoulder. I slipped on the matching red bikini bottoms and slipped a pair of dark blue jean shorts over. I put my thin, blue hair up in a high pony tail and slipped on some thin, red sandals.

I reached over and grabbed my dark-shaded glasses from the top of my dresser, and slipped it in my bag. I adjusted my bag over my left shoulder and grabbed my car keys. I padded down the stairs to the kitchen, to grab a few things from the fridge, when mom suddenly walked in.

For a second our eyes caught. She glanced down at my tote and keys, then back at me. Her lips were dry and obviously chapped. Her eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying. She was wearing an old, grey Disneyland sweatshirt that seemed a bit oversized on her now thin body. My dad had bought her that sweatshirt at a small gift shop in Downtown Disney, when she was pregnant with Bailey.

I was somewhat surprised to see her wearing it, but didn't say anything. She cleared her throat, as if she was going to say something. Maybe she was going to ask where I was going, and how long I'll be. Maybe she's curious, and wants to tag along. Maybe I'll let her.

But, no. She doesn't worry, like a mother should. She doesn't ask if she could come. She doesn't even care. She just slowly turns back around and goes back to her cave, shutting her door quietly behind her.

For a second I feel my eyes beginning to tear up. I'm embarrassed, that I actually could believe for a second she would come back to me again. Be my mother again. I let out a small sigh, and wiped away the small tear that escaped down my cheek. I turned back around and ducked my head into the cool breeze of the fridge.

Fine, Hendra. Two could play at that game.

I reached for two Snapples and started fixing two sandwiches. You would think another person were to be joining me, but nope. Two sandwiches and two snapples for mwah. Only because I plan on spending my whole day at the beautiful beach.

I want to go to a quiet beach and relax in the sand and hear the beautiful, soothing ocean sounds. The way the waves crash blissfully against the tall rocks. The way the sun hits me with it's inviting, warm rays. The way the ocean breeze flows through my hair and brushes against my skin. The way the seagulls dance around in the sky, chirping at each other.

That's were I want to go and stay forever. Just forget the world around me. Just brush off whatever worries I had, even if it's just for a day. I know it sounds selfish, but for once I don't mind. I just wanted the peacefulness.

I finished making the sandwiches and tossed them in the bag. I set aside another coke next to the snapples. I added a few fruits, such as oranges, apples, grapes, etc. Then, I added a few treats, like two candy bars and three bags of chips. Yes, I know, I'm fat. But, does this look like the face that cares? Nope.

I finally closed the tote and readjusted it on my shoulder. I left the house, being sure to slam the front door behind me, and walked down the narrow driveway to my car. I swung the door open and plopped myself down into the drivers seat. I set my bag on the passengers seat, and buckled my seatbelt. I started the car and peeled out of the driveway.

Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was just nine in the morning. I decided to make a quick stop before heading to the beach. I drove around town until I found the small Stop & Shop. I parked beside a small car and went inside. I quickly found what I was looking for and paid. I jogged back to my car and fell back into my seat.

I tied the gift onto the strap of my tote, and drove off. Now, I had to make one more small stop before my Getaway. I took the freeway and got off on the second exit. I noticed the tall, familar willow trees. I could feel the scenary change almost immediatley.

It quickly went from the sweet smell of the damp grass, to the sorrow tension of sudden death. I slowly pulled into the tall, iron gates that were engraved "Rose Pines Cemetary". I pulled in and slowly drove up to Bailey's grave.

I've been visiting her at least once a week. That's more than Hendra could say. Like I said before, she hasn't left the house not even once. Doctors and therapists had to make house visits, instead of the other way around.

I haven't seen that mystery guy, either. You know, ever since the night of Baileys funeral. Not that I care. The only thing that matters to me, is my little sister. I pulled up beside her tombstone, and slowly stepped out of the car. I reached over and grabbed my bag, along with the gift attached to it.

I untied the bubble-gum pink balloon off of the tote bag, and placed the bag back onto the seat. I held the balloon to my side and slowly trudged over to her tombstone. I smiled softly at the sight of her name, engraved gingerly across the tombstone. I kissed the top and mumbled a hello. I pulled the balloon out from behind me.

"I brought you gift," I whispered to her. I kneeled down, to untie the other balloon off of the heavy, black stone next to her grave. Every time I visit, I bring a bright, pink balloon to tie around the rock and place it next to her tombstone. I hated that ugly color, but she loved it. See the things I do for her?

It was like the one I gave to her on her birthday. Like the one she held while the last whisp of breathe escaped her lips. Like the one I brought to her funeral. Like the one she's buried with.

I always told her the same thing, how I brought her a gift. I would untie the old balloon off of the stone, and replace it with a new one. Then I would pull out my guitar, sit next to her, and sing her a lullabye.

"Sorry, Bail, I didn't bring my guitar today," I smiled, sadly. "I'm actually on my way to the beach. Kace is gone and I don't know where Leslie is. Oh, and Hend—," I stopped myself. "Um, mom came out of her room this morning." A heavy breeze picked up, at the mention of her.

"Yeah, we almost had a conversation, too. Almost. But, she just turned away...Do you think she'll ever come back? Or do you think she'll be gone forever...like you?" I whispered the last part, hoping she hadn't heard me. Of course, there was no reply. There never was. I just hoped...

Hoped what? That you could hear her voice? That she would suddenly appear behind the tree? You're pathetic. She's never coming back, Kat. Just face it.

I sighed, and climbed to my feet. I muttered a goodbye and kissed the top of her tombstone. I started to slowly walk back to my car, when I heard a soft voice not too far from where I was. I spun around, somewhat alarmed. I thought I was alone.

"B—Bailey?" I stuttered, looking around. I didn't see her, but I'm not surprised. It wasn't even her voice, I heard. It was a male's. A particualr male's voice, whom I recognized almost immediatley. Which, if you ask me, I think is pretty funny because I've only heard his voice only once before.

It was the mystery guy's.