dear diary↝nomin

03

"oohhhh what's this~~" jaemin let out teasingly, making jeno quickly turn his head to see what jaemin was talking about. before he could even blink, jaemin had jeno's diary flipped open to a random page.

at this point, jeno was in panic mode. what was he supposed to do? let jaemin read it and hope to god he could come up with an excuse fast enough. or was he supposed to take it from him.

the moment he saw jaemin's ears turn red, he knew what his choice was.

he quickly grabbed the notebook from his friend's hands, his face red from embarrassment. he quickly checked what jaemin had read, it was nothing that would give away who he was writing about, but enough to make his heart sink.

to his surprise jaemin chuckled at his actions, "does jeno have a crush~~"

he wanted to scream, not at anyone in particular, but just let all of the embarrassment out. he wanted to scream yes! he did! and that it was jaemin he was writing about. instead he settled for a small frown, sitting at the edge of his bed.

"this is embarrassing. you weren't supposed to read that." jaemin smiled at him and sat next to him, placing an arm around him.

"don't worry about it, i won't tell anyone. but... who is it?"

you, you dumb fool

"uhh no one."

"really?" he cocked an eyebrow at jeno, "it's no one."

you idiot, how can you not know?

"yes."

please stop pressing

"you're positive?" if jaemin kept this up, jeno probably would crack and end up kissing him. "100 percent absolutely, positively, sure that it's no one?"

just tell him!

"fine. it's uhh," was jeno really about to tell jaemin, the straightest boy he knew, that he liked him? hell no. "it's renjun."

he was lying through his teeth, but did jaemin know that? not at all.

"you know, renjun hyung is gay, you could totally get with him if he wanted to." jeno let out an airy, meaningless laugh. he didn't want to be with renjun, but if lying to jaemin about his feelings spared him the heart break of losing his best friend, then he would gladly lie. all in the name of love.

dear diary,

today i told you that i had a crush on renjun. it felt like a part of you knew it was a lie, but maybe that's the guilt i feel for lying to you. i really hope you don't try to make me talk to him. not that renjun is a bad person, you just have a bad habit of wanting to help someone out when they have a crush, even if it always doesn't go as planned. i know it comes from a good place, but god that would be awkward. maybe one day you'll know the truth. i can only hope to god that you'll feel the same.