WHEN THEY CRY.

☤twenty

a sigh escaped from kim namjoon's mouth as he watched a little bit of tomato soup dribble from the corner of jimin's parted lips and land messily on his winkled patient uniform pants.

it wasn't that he was upset he was making a mess on one of his fancy leather chairs, but rather that he was a little stressed out and mentally torn. today was supposed to be the day of jimin's last mental evaluation to decide whether or not he should be released, and when he asked the boy to meet him in his office for breakfast, the poor kid came in looking like he got absolutely no sleep and limping as though he had been laying in an uncomfortable position all night long.

he almost wanted to let him sleep the day away in his personal bed in an extra room of his office where he usually crashed at if he was too tired and done far too much work to trust himself to drive home safely during his really late night shifts. though, that really wasn't an option he could offer. surely jimin didn't want to wait another moment longer than he had to here, even if it meant being completely wrecked and restless.

"jimin, may i ask you a question?"

the boy across from him shifted a bit in his seat, luckily not spilling any of the warm soup sitting on his lap all over himself and namjoon's light grey carpeting in the process. he wiped his mouth on his sleeve, much like a child before focusing his attention towards the psychiatrist he was accompanied by.

namjoon smiled at his attentiveness, the kid for once managing to make eye contact with him without hesitation or any contempt hidden behind his beautiful big brown eyes. it was probably just because of the fact that he could finally leave today, but namjoon didn't think it would hurt to pretend he was just simply warming up to him after all this time.

"you haven't mentioned anything about the shadows or jungkook in a long while." the man spoke slowly and softly, eyes ready to scan jimin's face for micro expressions as soon as he got his question out. "i was just curious, but do you still see them? have they been bothering you lately?"

jimin shook his head, a mop of blond hair swaying with the exaggerated motion. "no, sir."

"why do you think that is?"

"why they've left me alone?" namjoon nodded in response to jimin's question, confirming he wanted a proper answer. "i think because i stopped forcing myself to believe in them."

the man behind the desk swiveled one of his pens in his dominant hand, the other hand supporting his chin up while his elbow was uncharacteristically propped up on the surface of the oak wood. "care to specify?"

jimin lifted up the bowl of tomato soup and folded his legs on the chair he was sat in before placing the thin plastic holding the liquid back down on his lap in a more secure position. "they're not real," he looked down, lightly thumbing over the spot on his pants he got the small soup stain previously. "i've always known that, but i didn't want to admit it. now that i started to accept the truth thanks to you and doctor seokjin, i haven't seen or heard anything since. i think that i was just so lonely that all this time i made up these fake things to keep me company and somehow managed to kid myself along the way."

"so you do not believe that you're schizophrenic anymore?"

"no." the young male answered simply. "i was never sick, i was just delusional."

namjoon let the pen fall out of his hand, letting it land to the desk with a smack. he turned around in his wheeled chair, much to the smaller boy's confusion and let the calm smile he was holding drop as well as his posture as he titled his head back onto the seat.

why did jimin have to realize this now? why couldn't he just keep being fucked up in the head so that he'd be forced to stay here for longer? it felt wrong to have to release him back into public, something about it felt horribly off.

namjoon felt a sick feeling creeping onto him as he refused to turn back to the patient, not wanting jimin to see him like this. he felt so bothered by the fact that in about a mere hour jimin may be granted the right to leave and there was nothing he could do.

technically, kim namjoon could tamper with the examination results, but there was no way he was going to do that— even if he may had considered it for a little awhile when he was stuck alone in his thoughts in his office doing paperwork at an ungodly hour the night before.

namjoon finally calmed himself throughly down, turning back to the boy sipping on his soup. "are you excited to be given the possibility of leaving?"

the nineteen year old nodded his head, blond messy locks bouncing like a golden retriever who just had a toy waved in front of it's face. one of his small hands held the bowl in place as he brought the plastic spoon back up to his mouth, seeming to like the heat radiating off of the thin cheap bowl.

"what do you think you're going to do if you get released?"

"probably..." the kid poked the tip of his tongue out the side of his mouth as he thought about it. "i'll probably sleep today away in my comfy bed and then go home to see my family." jimin lied through his teeth like the natural he had become during his stay here, he was so good at quickly thinking of believable answers that he had been even able to fool the psychiatrist a couple times during this breakfast break together.

"that's a good idea." namjoon nodded his head in agreement. "i would feel better about dismissing you if you would be able to stay with someone who could look after you for a little while."

letting his lies build up, jimin hummed in agreement, promising he would. "i'll have my parents take care of me until i'm sure i'll be okay." his parents didn't really care about him, much less would want to have to watch over him again. as if they'd even care, he hadn't gotten a single call during his stay and he was sure the police would have contacted his parents before allowing for him to be transferred to the institution.

"alright jimin, how about we go run that test now?" the tall man stood from his chair as soon as he noticed the lack of tomato soup still remaining in the patient's bowl. biting down on his plump but far too chapped lips, jimin followed suit as namjoon lead him out of his office, no guards waiting for him this time.

this was it. the test hadn't caught anything but lowered dopamine levels last time, so as long as he didn't show signs of increased depression again he was safe.

park jimin finally had a chance to leave.