WHEN THEY CRY.

☤eighteen

the soft mixture of piano and violin melodies rang out from simple cheap black headphones as the blond haired boy sat by himself at a small table in the 'time off room'. although he was listening to music the staff had gave him privilege to, he could still hear every single noise in the room and was painfully aware of the person sitting across from him.

drawing in a children's animal coloring book, that red haired patient he had gotten into the incident last time with sat with him.

for someone who had been aggressively attacked and choked out not too long ago, hoseok, the kid with peter pan syndrome apparently, had joined him at his table and was going to town on filling in a tadpole's body like he had absolutely nothing to be cautious about or hold a grudge over. it was almost humorous how he ignored all of the other patients when he first came in and strolled up with his crayon box right next to the blond like he was simply just another harmless stranger he had no reason not to trust or dislike.

then again, his mental state was clearly that of a child's, hinted by his disorder. children usually were quite forgiving.

"sometimes i wish i could fly away from here."

jimin lifted up his gaze, the beautiful calming music still playing in his ears. hoseok continued coloring, not tearing his eyes away from the lines his dark blue crayon was creating even though he wanted to talk— or at least have someone listen.

"you can't fly."

"i know." the red haired boy agreed. "but i wish i could so i could go home."

jimin watched his hand move as he colored in the background now. "then go home when you get released."

a small 'snap' was heard as the crayon in the red head's hand was broken in half. the boy sighed, setting the two pieces down on the surface of the table and pulling out a replacement for the one he had just broke. his crayon box was so filled that he surely had at least two of every color imaginable.

"i don't have a home to go back to." hoseok's previously quick strokes were now slow and delicate like he was trying to be careful not to ruin this crayon as well. "i'm never going to be released."

"...why not?"

"my parents abandoned me years ago and i guess i won't ever be old enough to support myself. my doctor says my brain will never get older than nine years old."

jimin blinked, looking away.

hoseok did look quite young, but it was strange hearing someone as old as him say something like that. it's hard to imagine being in your late teens or early twenties and still have the mental state and mindset of a small child. even when he's old and grey his brain wouldn't be able to even develop to the same point of a ten year old's.

in a way though, jimin could relate. they were both trapped. hoseok was trapped in the mind of a child, and he was trapped with his hallucinations. they were a lot more alike than anyone could ever imagine.

"i think i know why you're here." hoseok interrupted jimin's thoughts. "it finally made sense when you hurt me last time."

the blond stayed quiet, not responding and just letting the smooth piano solo fill his ears.

"you have a monster in you."

"i-" jimin's words left him for a moment because of how surprised the other's sentence made him. "sorry?"

hoseok put down his crayon as he finally finished drawing and filling in all of the water and water lilies surrounding the tadpole in the picture.

"i know that you didn't want to hurt me when you attacked me. i could tell it wasn't you. it was some kind of monster inside of you, right?"

jimin gulped as he felt his palms start to get a little bit clammy and hands start to shake a bit. he hadn't expected that from hoseok in the least and he wasn't really sure what was the right way to respond.

"you're right." jimin nodded his head. "it wasn't me, it was a monster hidden inside me."

with that, jimin focused his attention down on his cast, a frown deepening on his face. he could hear the faint whispering of 'you deserved it' and 'we're only here because of you', but he let the harmonizing of violin and piano notes play over it.

it wasn't his fault any of this happened. it wasn't his fault all those innocent small animals got killed before. it wasn't his fault he attacked people. it wasn't his fault he got hurt.

but in a way, it was.