Hopefully, Sahar can distract me from thinking about Amir and fill the void he'd left behind when he had faded from my life. She's coming over today for a family dinner where we get to talk about our future, and I never thought I'd say this, but for once I'm actually looking forward to it. At least I'll have the opportunity to escape from my thoughts.
Sahar kept trying to sit close to me and start conversation when we were alone together, but I soon realized I had nothing to say to her. We didn't have an intimate connection since we barely talked to each other outside of our awkward family encounters. I can't believe I'm supposed to marry her, but also hate that I can't be the perfect husband for her. She noticed my disinterest during our trivial conversation and asked if I was alright. I'm far too used to saying yes, but I hadn't spoken with someone in so long that I unable to say no.
I told her about how I'd regressed back into the pits of depression within the past few months and how my social life had practically faded into non-existence. Her face lit up in surprise before asking what happened to the "blond I was always with," and I couldn't bother restrain the look of dismay that spread across my face. I didn't reply; I didn't want to be the one to reveal his sinful ways. She suggested innocently that I put out differences behind us, but I couldn't help but desperately ponder on how impossible such a reality would be.
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐆𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭
Romance❝ When I walk into a room full of people, I always look for you first ❞ ஐ In which Zaki Hadad, a gay Saudi Arabian teen, struggles to accept himself in an oppressive society and outlets his feelings into his journal.
