Just as Sahar promised, she convinced Ummah to allow me to study abroad in San Diego. Although she still wasn't okay with the idea of me becoming "Westernized," she says she trusts Amir enough to take care of me while I am away overseas. Sahar smiled sadly throughout our entire exchange as if she was both content and upset at her success.
Looking at her sad eyes finally gave me insight into what love truly is--a sacrifice. She sacrificed her future with me--the future she so desperately wanted--for my happiness, and my happiness alone was enough to satisfy her. I had done nothing to be deserving of such kindness, but her boundless love gave her reason enough to help me. I now regretted not giving her more of my time--ignoring her longing glances to try and fit in with people I obviously didn't belong with. Even when Farrah and Raja were gone, Sahar was still there, demure and waiting for me to give her the attention she deserved.
Once Ummah had left, Sahar and I were left sitting silently in each other's company. I opened my mouth speak, to tell Sahar how thankful I was to her, but she instead spoke over me. She told me that she knew we weren't meant to be, but she wanted to provide me with happiness even if she couldn't do so as my wife. She wanted me to live my life to the fullest, even if that meant I had to be a world away. After a long and heart-wrenching discussion between the two of us, we ended up crying into each other's arms about everything, nothing, and what could have never been.
YOU ARE READING
𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐆𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭
Romance❝ When I walk into a room full of people, I always look for you first ❞ ஐ In which Zaki Hadad, a gay Saudi Arabian teen, struggles to accept himself in an oppressive society and outlets his feelings into his journal.
