Modified (Uta x Reader)

51: Nothing

"This is really cool, Juuzou." You examined his new prosthetic limb, completely decked out in hidden compartments.

"Now I can stab any ghoul who gets a little too friendly." Juuzou made his point clear, even though Uta was at work.

"Relax." You rolled your eyes.

"Are you pregnant yet?" He asked suddenly.

"I don't know." You shrugged.

"I hope you are." He admitted. "I think Yukizou would do best with someone close to his age."

"You know, it's actually recommended that mothers wait two years before having a second child." You told him.

"Really?" He thought about it for a minute. "Dumb."

"You can't just say 'dumb' because it's not dumb! Very smart people came up with that number from a lot of research!" You scolded him.

He chuckled a little bit.

"Dumb." He repeated. "Hey. Let me redo your threads while your boyfriend is gone."

"Why when he's gone?" You asked him.

He shrugged.

"I talked to him today." You mentioned as you stood up from admiring Juuzou's new leg.

"Hopefully. You should probably talk to him every day if you live with him and you love him." Juuzou cackled at his own joke.

"He said we can have a relationship too. As long as I was comfortable with you two having a relationship." You looked away from him and blushed. It was really awkward to try and explain that you had talked about this without him.

"No one asked me if I wanted a relationship with either of you." He scowled. "I'm not a plaything. You always do that to me. You always just do what you want to me. Kiss me when you want, sit on me naked, touch me where you want. You're not good at asking, you know."

"No, I know you aren't." You rubbed the back of your head. And then, you couldn't help but start to sniffle just a little bit. "But I just love you so much, Juuzou. I know I should ask and I know things changed after... After my mother maimed you... but I just have a hard time understanding."

"You don't have to get upset." Juuzou sighed. "I don't mean to get upset with you. But I don't have those feelings anymore. Those... needs. They're all gone."

"What do you mean?" You asked, wiping the dampness from your eyes. "You don't love me?"

"Of course I love you." Juuzou quickly collected you in his arms. "I..." He sighed and laid his head against yours. "You just won't understand unless I show you. But it's so humiliating that I can hardly bear it."

"Are you talking about what my mother did to you? You told me she smashed your genitals, I think I can understand what that—"

"No, I don't think you quite do. I don't want you to touch me there at all. I don't want to look at it or think about it or have anything to do with that area. I want you to see why." Juuzou shook as he stood back from you and pushed his suspenders down. "You have to understand why I can't be the only one for you. Why I can't satisfy you. Why I keep pushing you away and hurting you."

And as his shaky hands pushed his pants and boxers down you saw exactly what he meant.

There was just...

"Nothing..."