It's a long way down from here

Chapter nine

Sorry I have taken sooo damn long to update. Ya girl is busy af and ya know I got that writers block, ayeeeee turnnn upppppppppppppp. 😊🙄😒👻🙇‍♀️ but yeah let's get right into this mofo 🤷‍♀️😂.

I need the voices gone. I don't know how and I don't care but they will be gone, even if I have to die.

Dying; on the point of death.

But what is death. Other than saying goodbye to the earth, people, food, and music. It's saying hello. Maybe it's better then what we have now. Pain free? Maybe, but it's all still unknown. That is what we fear. If we knew what would happen after... Maybe nothing would stop us. We would never think twice, maybe. Maybe, we would finally be happy, maybe nothing happens. Maybe we are frozen in time and put underground in a box, or burned into ash for other people's closer. Maybe we would want nothing from our options of outcomes. But that wouldn't stop other people from choosing for us. Maybe there would be so many perfect outcomes we wouldn't want to only pick one. Maybe the ones who believe in a god will see him. Maybe some will see no more. Left with nothing they will not hurt, but not be for filled. I don't exactly know what will happen to me. I hope for the best but know that it can't be worse, nothing can be.
"Logan," Riley, right.
"Ah, yeah"
"What are you doing, you've been in the bathroom for a while"
"Um, yeah yeah, I'm coming."
"Ok good, just wanted to make sure your ok"
I don't understand why I wouldn't be ok. Does she think I'm not capable, maybe I'm not capable. Ugh whatever.

Today Riley let me stay inside, all day. No one bothered me and no one came to be a pain in the ass, it was just nice and peaceful. Riley closed all the curtains, locked all the doors, covered every window... kinda like I was a vampire she needed to protect from the sun. I liked being in the dark. It made most things go away. I felt lighter in the dark. I was so light I could almost float. The air became easier to breathe and I could finally relax. Then I heard a small and cute whisper from Riley and she said, "reason number seven: life isn't always stressful and you can relax so you will always be ok and you will always have alone time". I guess she was right, it's not always stressful.