It's a long way down from here

Chapter six

I woke up and walked into the leaving room of our hotel room to see Riley sitting on the couch with a glass coffee table in front of her covered in food, room service? I don't bother to ask many questions or any about last night, about what she said although I do ask about the food, special occasion? "What's all of this for," I asked taking a seat on a smaller one-person chair by the coffee table and by a marble desk with metal poles and detailing, it was truly beautiful, a sight to see. "This is for you. Today we are going to eat then we are going to get ready to be in the water," "and what will we do then," I was genuinely curious "well you must wait and see," "Fine. What's for me," I said staring at the mouth watering bacon and pancakes toped with fresh strawberries and icing sugar with a bottle of maple syrup places beside it. "All of it," I was shocked but quickly devoured it as if it was air, breathing and never running out, never wanting to feel like I'm wheezing. You know, the feeling you get when running long distances and your wheezing trying to get air, anything to make the dry, sore throat disappear. Eventually everything was done and we went to change into our bathing suits. I walked out of the bathroom in my swim trunks and Riley came out in a bikini, I couldn't help but star. We got out to the pool and activity area and I saw so many other tourists there. "Go die Paul," it's been awhile since I have heard those words, I forgot how much they really do hurt. With burning tears running down my cheeks I turned and ran back to my room sobbing. "Logan?," Riley spoke softly opening our room door to reveal me sobbing on the couch with my head in my hands. "Hey, are you ok?," she asked sitting next to me and rubbing my back gently. "I'm sorry I am not perfect, I'm sorry I want to cut, I'm sorry I break my promises, I'm sorry I want to give up, I'm sorry I want to die, I'm sorry I want to kill myself, I'm sorry I hide my emotions, I'm sorry I lie and say I am fine, I am sorry i am pushing you away but I can't let you in, it's too dark for you," I said looking her in the eyes. "Hey we are in this together now. Please let me in Logan," she begged, fine. "One day at a time I feel like I'm dying inside more and more, one day at a time I stop caring more and more. One day at a time I stop loving, one day at a time I stop feeling. But no matter how many days at a time I can't forget. That man killed him self and I can't forget him just hanging there it made me hate myself for being a live so why shouldn't I just go and die. Then I won't hate myself and the people that hate me will be happy" I was now hysterically sobbing, my head on her shoulder and she was still beside me "what about the people that love you. Your mom, dad, brother, the logang... me" she spoke so soft but firm and the tears stopped when I heard "me". I think I love her too. "Let's try this again," she said standing up and pulling me with her. We walked back down to the pool and nobody said anything. We kept walking and got to a boat thing and the guy was an instructor and he was taking us out to the water. Before we left Riley and me got dressed in clothes for scuba diving. He took us out and it was nice to not hear much but see such a beautiful sight you don't see around thousands of people. The sky was a perfect purple with hints of pink and blue and the sun was so bright, it made the water a perfect crystal clear blue. We got in the water and the cold sensation numbed my body but I went in deeper, putting my head under. Riley joined me doing the same thing and then we dove down with the tanks on our back and I saw the beautiful fish and sea life but I also saw Riley and the way her hair looked was to die for. Her hair looked so soft and it moved in the perfect flowing motion. She was like a perfect mermaid. We swam around for quite some time then eventually got out and started the boat ride back. Me and Riley sat there staring into the breath taking sky and she looked over at me and said, "reason number five, the world has so much more for you too see". With that we watched the perfect sun set although I'm colour blind it was still beautiful. And I guess I haven't seen everything the world has to offer but I have seen many more things and I don't think I will ever be able to forget them.