A Look Inside

come back, i still need you

poem no.11: come back, i still need you:

(author's note: this chapter contains talk of suicide and dealing with trying to save someone who tried to commit. if you're uncomfortable with this topic, please skip this chapter.)

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Loving and leaving,

Accusing and denying feelings we both know are there.

We grow distant. 

You find someone new, 

Because I'm too tangled in someone else.

Your relationship is made up of joy and love and butterflies. 

Mine is made up of lies and inner demons making their way to the surface.

He left me alone. 

You got left alone. 

Could it be?

Could this be our chance?

You call me in tears, 

The sound of your voice so soft and broken, 

Ruins me. 

You said you took pills. 

Downed them with the alcohol sitting next to your bed. 

I'm crying in bed at midnight. 

You said you changed your mind. 

You said you didn't want to die. 

I beg you to fix it, 

Tears pouring like rain down my face. 

Two hours later,

You're still talking to me. 

Still breathing. 

We hang up.

You text me the rest of the night. 

I never leave your side.

I close my eyes. 

And as soon as I open them, 

The storm hits. 

You're in the emergency room. 

You need me. 

I drop everything. 

I break the speed limits to get to you, 

An hour away. 

I get to the emergency room. 

They tell me I need security clearance before I see you. 

I'm in tears again. 

They tell you I'm here. 

You're in tears again.