A Look Inside

it's just all talk.

poem no.12: it's just all talk:

(a/n: this post contains talk of abuse and rape, please do not read if you feel you can't.)

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How did this happen? 

How can it be? 

A year later, 

And you still have control over me. 

On the anniversary of the date, 

I tried forget your memory, 

Clear the slate. 

But it didn't work as I sat in bed and wondered

Why I can still hear your voice as loud as thunder. 

The day passed and I thought I was okay,

Until I laid down to pray.

A notification on my phone is all it was.

How could something so simple be the cause?

'1 new follower'

My curiosity was peaked as I opened it up. 

But when I saw who it was I started to whimper like a pup. 

How did he find me? 

I'd been so careful to hide myself. 

To shield myself. 

To make it where I would never have to see his face again. 

So where did I mess up? 

Or was he blatantly searching for me? 

Was he searching for me on purpose?

Was he trying to find me again? 

Why? 

How? 

Did he want nothing from me, 

But to be facebook friends?

Were his intentions as innocent as that?

But how could they be? 

No one so callous, 

No one so cold,

Could have good intentions at heart. 

Even if he did,

Could I stand to let that happen?

To accept his request?

No.

Never.

He ruined me. 

I couldn't let it happen again. 

I wouldn't be as defenseless as I was before. 

If I was, 

It would kill me. 

'Blocked'

Was that enough?

It would have to be.

No one listens

To the one hundredth girl 

To cry wolf.

-Sami Dean

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[WRITTEN ON: JULY 31, 2018]

[A LOOK INSIDE]