Cold One

Nine: Heartless

Zion

My tongue feels numb.

I've been sitting on the floor with my back against the wall for some times now. It's been a while. All the way across me is Rosaline sitting back facing me on a chair, focusing herself with all the papers scattered on the desk in front of her.

She hasn't spoken any words since we got here, not even once on our way home. I know I've crossed the line too far, but cursing at myself now would not make the situation any better.

On the little bright side, it's nearly night time.

"If you want to leave, you can always leave, you know," I hear her suddenly says. Her smooth icy voice sounds so cold as she speaks. "I won't stop you."

I wonder if she always sounds this cold, for how long has she been this way. It feels like she doesn't have any sympathy. Like how she responded to my words in the car on our way to the farm. I know she was being sarcastic the whole time. It was better if she stayed silent then to fake what she said back then.

But this time, I lost my words at what she just said. I don't have any reaction towards her cold attitude anymore. All she did was mocking me, giving me threats, and now she's telling me to leave.

She's a heartless beast.

Fear creeps all the way around my skin, crawling.

I wish it is that easy to consider her words. I wish I can simply agree to her and leave the hell out of her sight.

But it's time to face my own reality. I wouldn't survived long out there. Not like this.

My feet feels so weak as I get up and drag myself carefully towards her. She doesn't move from her current position, her focus is still on the paper. Stopping besides her desk in front of the opened window, I dare myself to ask her.

"You don't want me that much, do you?" My voice is low, I can feel my emotions draining out of my body.

"Have I ever say I do?" She glances up at me, her cold grey eyes looks so beautiful but expressionless. And guarded. Her eyes has always look so defensive, so strong and steady. So deep. But so unreadable also.

There's no light in the room yet, the only source of light is from the small lamp on her desk, illuminates through one side of her face.

My thoughts are overwhelming inside and I can't bring my mouth to respond at her words.

"I've killed numerous of vampires my whole life, Zion," she says again. The sound of her calling my name brings this shivery sensation through my spine, it is probably fear or maybe something else. "Even though I promised I'd never let anyone hurt you, you should really think twice for staying around me. Because I know you hate me; down to the deepest root of your soul; from every corner of your heart. And I don't get anything in return for protecting you, so I wouldn't even try to change your mind."

The way she let those words out bring effect on me. But as much as I want to argue with it, I ought to admit that what she says is the truth. I am thankful for her saving me and willing to protect me, but I just can't forget all the things she had done to my species. It feels like every time I meet her eyes, every time I look at the Vixen symbol on her shoulder blades, even every time I feel her presence is just another reminder of what crime she had commit. About how violent she had been.

And she hates me too. I can see it clear. I know my attitude towards her so far won't make her hate me less, but what can I do about it? She slaughters vampires for god sake's. To think that I can suddenly change her mind to be a kind creature to me would be a very impossible task.

I think that's why I've done nothing but to make her hate me more so far, even that I did all of that without me even realizing it. But I realize it now. I did that because I can't do anything else. I wanted her to hate me so much that she would leave me alone.

And now she wants to leave me.

It hasn't even been a day.

Rosaline stands up from her chair, her expression somber but unreadable still. Then she walks away without any words.

I don't get how she can be so cold. I can't imagine what kind of pain she's been through that makes her so heartless. Because I know what it feels like to get hurt. I know how it feels to be tortured physically and mentally. But even the pain I've felt for these past decades hasn't make me as close to be as cold as her.

Something about her.

But, insanely, somehow she's still very human. She's not that ruthless at all honest, in fact she is actually really full of mercy.

You just haven't seen her sinister part yet. Don't you forget how she slaughtered your New Orlean's base. How blood splatters on every steps she took as she got deeper into the place. How she killed every vampire so brutally.

But she was so gentle when she held me last night, wasn't she? She was like the eye of the storm, calming in all these chaos.

It has only been a day after all. I still can't judge what is she. Some part of me despised her very much but some of me feels really protected and right when I'm around her.

"Hell," I curse underneath my breath before deciding to jump out the window swiftly, landing perfectly as my feet reaches the ground outside.

Doing the one thing I am able to do lately, the one thing I am so bad at;

Running.

_x_
here again with new chap,
what could possibly happen next?

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-Liana