Divided // The Death Cure [Book 3]

THIRTY

It was not long after the party and everyone had gone back to their huts, and I had just finished feeding Aly. I gently lay her down in the cradle and wiped away a stray tear from my cheek as I thought of Newt's letter.

My daughter looked at me with curious eyes, as if she was asking why her mother was so upset. "I'm fine, baby, just go to sleep," I whispered softly, placing a kiss on her hair. She let out a yawn and I smiled. I squatted down by the side of the cradle and I traced my fingers down her nose until she fell asleep. 

I heard how the canvas behind me was pushed open and I turned around, seeing Thomas standing in the doorway. He looked at me with a smile. 

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I know what you're gonna say, Thomas," I said. 

"Oh, really?" he asked, walking up to me and placing his hands on my shoulders, giving them a small rub. 

"I don't want to go to sleep," I said. 

"You'll have to eventually. I know it won't be long, our long nights of sleep are gone for the next couple of months, but you need rest, Leah," he said. 

I sighed. "I'm not ready for all those dreams I know I'm going to have. I need to process everything before I can safely sleep again," I explained, continuing to run my finger down Aly's nose. Her tiny breaths distracted me from the horrors tormenting my mind. 

"As long as you take care of yourself," Thomas said. "I love you, and I need you to be okay." 

"I love you too, and I will be," I mumbled. I sighed and stood up again before sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

"At least try to rest for a bit," Thomas said, sinking down beside me. I nodded and curled up in the sheets. I fought the fatigue I felt as Thomas lay next to me. I placed my head on his chest and listened to the thumping of his heartbeat. I didn't fall asleep, but I was somewhat rested when Aly woke up again.

I stepped out of bed before Thomas could and lifted my child from the crib. I held her to my chest and started to feed her. All I was wearing was a tank top and I didn't bother covering up as I was nursing, since the only people in the room were me and Thomas. Or so I thought. 

"Hey, guys, Vince is look-Oh my god, I'm so sorry." My hand flew up to my chest as Minho had pushed aside the canvas. He immediately turned away and shut the canvas again. "Leah, I'm so sorry," he repeated. I knew I shouldn't be ashamed of what I was doing, which was taking care of my child, but still, it was a bit awkward to have one of my best friends see me like that. 

Aly finished eating soon after that and I handed her to Thomas. "Can you put her in the cradle?" I asked and he nodded. I stole one of his shirts and pulled it over my head. I exited the hut. "It's fine, Minho. You were saying?" I said, standing across from my friend. 

"Right, Vince was looking for you," he said, clearing his throat awkwardly. 

"Okay, thanks," I smiled. 

"I'm really sorry-" 

"Apologize one more time and I'm throwing you in the ocean," I joked with a giggle and he chuckled. "It's fine, no worries," I said. Thomas came out of the hut and patted Minho's shoulder. 

"Vince is at the centre," Minho said and we walked off, looking for the man. 

We quickly found him. He was standing near the bonfire as it slowly died down. I saw he was holding a book in his hand but soon discovered that it was my journal from when I was locked up. "This is yours, isn't it?" he asked as soon as I reached him. 

"Yeah," I muttered, tracing my finger over the leather binding. "I had to write my thoughts somewhere or else I'd go out of my mind," I continued softly as I flipped through the pages.