Uzdrowię cię moją miłością (I will heal you with my love)

Home Sweet Home

I walk Charlie home after class and reassure him everything is fine. We swap numbers so we can talk tonight. After leaving him I wonder the streets for an hour or so, not sure whether or not going home is a good idea. I know that there is no where else I can go but even so a doubt myself.

When Farther get angry it seems to last forever, it as if a switch in his brain goes and its so hard to flick it back. I hold my stomach for a moment thinking about this morning. God I wish I could just be normal, be the son he wanted.

I know my wish will not change me, I tried many times before but I cannot pretend for the rest of my life. I will not take away my own happiness. My thoughts go to Charlie, although I have only know him a few weeks, he makes me feel free as if there is only the two of us in the whole universe.

I sigh, there is know point putting this off any more, I make my way back home.

As I go to get my key out of my pocket the door swings open and my father stares down at me. "Get in, you're late." OK so no quite night then. I duck my head down and walk past my father. He follows me into the living room. On the coffee table I see my laptop open, my hart sinks when I see what hes got open.

He slams the door behind us and I swallow hard know where this is going. "What is this?" he said sharply.

"I...I can explain father."

"I'd like to see you try, you disgusting faggot." I step back, I knew going on that website was a risk but I needed some support. "I'm waiting" He snaps.

"I..I just need someone to...to confide in, it no crime father." He take a step towards me.

"What is it, faggot united, fairies anonymous or do you do it just to shame me.

"It just speaking to people like me... about... about thing need to... no one know who I am on there, I can be free. His eye begin to gloss over and he launches at my laptop. "NO!" I cry as he grab my laptop and threw it at the wall. The screen cracks and the casing falls apart. he storms over to it and begins to stand on it. "You didn't need to do that, it's got all my work on it!"

"You will not bring shame upon this family again." He heads towards my until I am up ageist the wall. Visions of this morning flood my mind before every thought is replace with shock. Suddenly I find it hard to breath as he brings his muscular hands around my neck. He begins to squeeze until I fear I am going to pass out. Just before I do, he lets go and I fall to the floor in a heap. I take a moment to catch my breath but before I have, he grabs to roughly by the back of the shirt and throws me so I land on the coffee table. As I land my ribs dig into the side of it. By the time I have gotten over the shock he is towering over me.

"Please father no." I plead with him. He pick up the charger for my laptop that lay forgot on the floor. My eyes grow wide with horror and realisation, he really is going to beat the gay out of me. I cover my face with my hand and turn away as be begins is assault on my body. Every blow hit another bit of my back causing agony all over, It felt like it had been going on for hours. In reality it had only been a few minutes but that was long enough for it to have its desired affect.

"Just get out for my sight, wiązać w wiązki!" I stumble up the stairs to the bathroom to look at myself. I can already see bruising forming around my neck and down the left side of my face but I don't dare to look any farther down. I splash some cold water onto my face and sit on the side of the bath.

Why do I let this happen, why did I go on that stupid site? Its not the first time he'd gone through my laptop, I should of used an incognito tab or something. I should of covered my tracks but the people on that forum made me feel safe, like I didn't need to hide. How wrong I was.

Whilst I am lost in thought I hear my phone buzz. SHIT I forgot about Charlie ringing tonight. I quickly head to my room and close the door. "Hi Charlie" I almost whisper.

"Hi, is this a bad time, I mean I can call you back if you busy or something." I smile at his awkwardness.

"No, no don't go. I want to talk."

"Oh OK then well what did you think about astrophysics today?"

"Oh yes, my favourite lesson of all, I don't know how I'll ever get my head around the homework without the help of google."

"Hey if you struggling, you could Skype me and I could help you?"

"I'd love that I really would but I'm... err grounded and haven't got my laptop." I feel really bad for lying to him but what am I meant to do, I can't tell him what happened.

"Oh well maybe I could help you tomorrow at lunch time?" I wrack my brain trying to think what to say, if I go in everyone's going to see the state I'm in and I'd have to think of and excuse, but if I don't then I'm alone.

"Yh as long as I'm in, I think the kebab I got on the way home way a bit dodgy." I'm lying to him again.

"I told you that place didn't look sanitary, are you sure you're ok Matti you don't seem yourself."

"I...I had an argument with my father earlier that's all." Well not really a lie, just half a truth.

"What happened Matti?" He rally sounds concerned for me.

"He's been working long hours at the office for weeks he just... It's nothing really, it doesn't matter."

"Matteusz you're clearly upset and from what I have learnt of this planet. I think you need to talk about it."

"Charlie it's nothing really, he just doesn't like a few of the websites I visit and he got angry, so I got angry back. I suppose it just got out of hand. I'm sorry I shouldn't dump this on you."

"Hey I don't mind really, it's really nice to talk to you, even if you wont turn your camera on."

"I look a mess Charlie, you wouldn't want to see me right now."

"I think you always look beautiful." I smile at the compliment but I know right now I look like death.

"Maybe but you are more beautiful than me."

"I turn my camera on if you do yours?" Please don't push this Charlie.

"No, really I look a mess."

"Charles, can you stop making those ridiculous puppy dog eye for just a moment, so I can have a conversation with the prince, not this love sick teenager" Quill must of come into his room.

"Hey you go see what she wants, We'll speak again in the morning ok?"

"OK I'll see you tomorrow, yh?"

"I'll try, see ya."

"Bye Matti" With that he hangs up the phone to probably have another argument with Quill. I shake my head I decide I should get an early night, I feel as if I haven't slept in days. I ease myself onto my bed realising just how much my body aches.

I fall asleep think of Charlie and how much I want to see him again.