Uzdrowię cię moją miłością (I will heal you with my love)

Hell to Pay

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. I'm not really paying attention to anything, all I can think about is what going to happen when I get home. The last time I had a boyfriend my father moved us to the other side of the country. I can't let that happen but the mood he's been in, I really couldn't guess what he'd do.

It's the last lesson of the day, maths, and Charlies been staring at me for most of it. He's noticed, I'm not quite here, but not tried to ask me why. I don't blame him, I think he thinks I need to work this out myself. 

The bell rings for the end of the day and we pack our things away. "Hey do you want me to walk you home?" Charlies asks look worried for me. I give him a small smile back.

"Yh but not all the way, just to the top of my road."

"OK... Matteusz, is everything OK, You really haven't been yourself since we went for lunch. What did you Uncle say to you?" He looks me in the eye and gently holds my hand in his. I look away ashamed of myself. None of this is fair on him, either way he will be hurt.

"It wasn't anything to worry about." I cocks an eyebrow to me.

"If it's nothing to worry about why do you look so worried?" I finish packing my bag and we walk out for the school and towards home.

"I'm just worried about having another argument with my father... I don't like arguing with him." I lower my head again and pull my hand out of his. I hug my bruised body loosely, thinking about how much worse my father could make it. How far would he go?"

Charlie stops walking and brings me into a hug. As he puts his arms around my, I tense, feeling him brush against some of my bruises. I hug him back slightly and he nuzzles into my neck. "Matteusz, is there anything I can do, anything to help?" I hold the shorter boy close smelling his hair and smiling to find it smells of coconut and mangos. 

"You are helping right now." He looks up at me and smiles. He reaches up and kisses me gently, placing one hand on my neck. He moves the collar of my jacket slightly and frowns. I mentally kick myself for not being careful about this.

"Matteusz, that wasn't there before, what happened to you? Why are you bruised there?" I pull away from the boy and begin hugging myself again.

"Charlie it's nothing, leave it." I say taking a step back.

"I doesn't look like nothing to me. What are you not telling me?"

"Charlie just leave it will you, I've got to go." I turn around almost running towards home. 

"No Matti wait, I'm sorry please." I hear Carlie shouting after me but he makes no attempt to follow me. I stop running when I get to a small park on the way home. I sit on a nearby bench and put my hands in my face. After everything, I'm the thing that will scare Charlie away, Me. He was just concerned for me and I did that. Why did I do that?

I take a minute to gather myself together before continuing home. I'm not going to lie to myself, I am scared. After the last few days, I couldn't tell you what my father would do. 

I pull my key out of my pocket and open the door. My father is waiting for me in the front room. I put my bag down. "Hi" I say quietly to him to let him know I'm there. I'm not going to be able to get out of this so better now than later.

"You saw Uncle Jakub  today, when you were on you little 'date' didn't you?" I wasn't really a question but he wanted an answer.

"Yes, I er did." He stands up from the chair he's been sitting on and points and the centre of the room. I follow the silent order and walk to the spot he was pointing at. He begins to circle me like a vulture. 

"And what did I say the other day Matteusz?" I swallow hard to try and remove the lump that has lodged itself in my throat. 

"Not to speak to him again, but." He stops right in front of me and cracks his knuckles.

"I don't care about you buts." I open my mouth to speak again and he lifts his hand up and backhands me hard, making me stumble backwards. "YOU WILL NOT SEE HIM AGAIN." He yells, his spit hitting me face. "That pathetic thing is as disgusting as you." He spit at me.

"How dare you! You insult me all you want, but Charlie is sweet and kind and is ten times the man you will ever be." I shout back at him. He's shocked for a moment before he grabs me by the throat again.

"Ha, He's just as pathetic as you, you're both disgusting freaks of nature. What makes him so special, soon he'll see you for what you are, just as I have, worthless." He lets go of my neck and pushes me to the floor. "Go on what so special about him?"

I look up at him my eyes defiant "Because I love him, that's why!" I shout at him. "That's what so special about him." I get up off the floor a square upto him. I'm done cowering under him. 

"Well If you love him so much go live with him. Let's see how long it last, he will see how weak you are and throw you away, just you watch."

"Maybe I will go, sleeping on a park bench would be better than this!" I strom towards the door.

"Go then, but there's no coming back, once you're gone, you're gone." He splits at me. I look back at him.

"Then I don't see a downside."  I leave going upstairs to grab some of my thing. I chuck whatever can fit in the school bag in and leave. Taking one last look at my room, I walk down the stair, throw my house key at my father and slam the front door behind me.

I don't stop till I reach the park, only then to I let myself stop and take in whats just happened. I've just left everything I've ever know behind, I don't even know where I'm going to sleep. I think of Charlie for a moment but remember how I ran away from him earlier. I hadn't meant to, I just got scared to tell him the truth. What am I going to do? What if he doesn't forgive me. 

I didn't lie to my father, I really do love him, and now I've pushed him away too. I need to speak to him and apologize, but I can't to this at school. I don't want everyone knowing my business. 

I decide I should head to his house, the only person who will hear us it Quill and she's not going to care. 

I decide to take a slow walk over to his and try and explain to him what's going on and tell him how sorry I am.