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A Mistake

*November*

Two weeks later, Jessica was home alone and thinking about the things she had noticed about Ruth.

She had noticed Ruth being a bit quiet and distant towards her. She couldn't understand why.

Ruth stopped touching Jessica's belly. She started to avert her eyes away from Jessica's abdomen and was just avoiding Jessica in general. Ruth stopped being loving towards Jessica as well, and Jessica couldn't understand why.

Ruth had even made excuses to not go to bed with Jessica at night. Ruth would tell Jessica that she would be right there in a bit or that she wanted to stay up and watch a movie. Ruth would wait for Jessica to fall asleep then she would sleep in the guest room.

Jessica was close to her eighth month of pregnancy and her sleep was being interrupted by multiple trips to the bathroom and by the baby's kicks and movements.

She would wake up in bed alone and she would search for Ruth, finding her sleeping peacefully in the guest bedroom.

Jessica didn't want to wake Ruth and ask her to come to bed, so she would just go back to bed all alone. She would cry herself to sleep and wonder what she had done wrong.

It went on like this for a few more weeks and Jessica was at her breaking point. She needed to get to the bottom of what was wrong with Ruth.

Dorothy had just dropped off Jessica at home after taking Jessica to her doctor's appointment.

Jessica was now in her eighth month and everything was still going smoothly. Although, Jessica's blood pressure was a little on the high side and Dr. Rice told Jessica to try and relax a bit more.

Jessica nodded and she knew the situation with Ruth was the cause of having a high blood pressure. She just worried about Ruth and their marriage.

Jessica laid down in her bed and drifted off into a restless sleep.

When Jessica woke up, she found Patty Ann in her room working on her homework.

"Hi Patty. How was school?" Jessica said as she sat next to Patty on her bed.
"Hey Mom. It was alright. Still boring as ever." Patty Ann said. "How's my baby brother?" She asked then put her hand on Jessica's belly.
Jessica smiled and replied. "He's doing really well. Just a few more weeks and he'll be here."

Patty Ann chuckled and said. "Wow! He's really moving in there." Just then Patty Ann saw a the baby's foot imprint on Jessica's belly. "Oh my god! That's so weird! Does it hurt?"
"Yes, but it's not too bad." Jessica said as she put her hand on the side of her stomach. "I guess I'm just used to it by now."

They both sat still feeling the baby move and kick for a moment longer before Jessica chuckled then said. "I'm going to start on dinner. I'm going to say hi to your father first."
"She's not here." Patty Ann said. "She went over to grandma and grandpa Roy's house. Dad said she'll be back later and not to wait up for her."
"Oh!" Jessica said surprised. "Well, then I'll make dinner just for us."
"Can we order a pizza?" Patty Ann asked.
"Sure." Jessica said. "I'll go order it. I'll call you when it gets here."
"Awesome! Thanks Mom." Patty Ann said as she hugged her mother.
"You're welcome sweet girl." Jessica said.

Jessica walked downstairs and her heart felt heavy. Now she knew for sure that Ruth was ignoring her.

Jessica held in her tears and ordered herself and Patty Ann a pizza. She then sat on the sofa and let her tears fall.

"Why is Ruth so distant? What did I do wrong?" Jessica thought to herself.

Jessica managed to calm herself down as she remembered what her doctor said. She needed to keep herself calm.

The pizza was delivered and Patty Ann and Jessica ate in the living room watching a movie. It was a Friday night so Patty Ann didn't have to go to bed early.

After spending time with her daughter, Jessica went upstairs to change into pajamas.

She then laid down on her side with one hand on her belly, the other tucked in under her head. She tried to fall asleep but all she could think about was Ruth. Also, the baby was not settling down for anything.

At 11 pm, Jessica got up from bed and walked downstairs to watch some tv. She needed a distraction.

Ten minutes before midnight, Jessica began to become very worried. She was thinking of many horrible scenarios of what could have happened to Ruth. Usually when Ruth was coming home late she wouldn't be this late.

Jessica was about to get up to call Ruth's mother, Jessica heard the door open.

Jessica turned off the television and stood up.
She walked over to the front door and saw Ruth closing the door.

"Ruth?" Jessica said worriedly.
Ruth turned to Jessica and said a little harshly. "Jess, I told Patty Ann to tell you not to wait up."
"I couldn't sleep." Jessica said. "The baby is keeping me up."

Ruth sighed then walked upstairs to their bedroom. Jessica followed behind and closed the bedroom door.

Ruth was grabbing some pajamas when Jessica stopped her. Jessica had put a hand on Ruth's shoulder. Ruth closed her eyes and tried to keep the tears from spilling over her cheeks.

"Ruth...are you okay? Are we okay?" Jessica asked gently. "You've been so distant and you've been sleeping in the guest bedroom. Did I do something wrong? I miss you Ruth."

Tears rolled down Jessica's face and when Ruth turned to face Jessica and Jessica saw tears in Ruth's eyes.

Ruth sat down on their bed and motioned for Jessica to do the same. Jessica sat down and waited for Ruth to speak.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Ruth said. "It's me. This is all on me and how I've been feeling. I've been feeling...I don't know how to explain this. Jessica...just so you know, I didn't expect to feel this way. I love you with all my heart and I love our children. But, you being pregnant has brought up these feelings of...of jealousy and unworthy." Ruth stopped and looked into Jessica's eyes. "I'm jealous that you are pregnant and I'm not."

Jessica looked shocked and hurt.

"I'm sorry, Jessica. I just see you and your belly growing with our baby boy and I wish that I was the one who was pregnant. I just...I feel as if I made a mistake." Ruth said with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I made a mistake of transitioning. I feel as if this pregnancy made me realize that I will never be a real woman. I can't have babies. I...I'm not a woman Jess. God, what did I do to our family? All the heartache and anger I inflicted on you. I'm an idiot!"
"No! Ruth don't say that." Jessica said as she held Ruth's hands. "You are a woman. You transitioned into the person you always were. What you felt inside now matches the outside. Honey...I'm sorry you're feeling this way. But, Ruth...would you tell all the women out there in the world, who can't have children of their own that they are not a woman? Women who have been trying for years to get pregnant but for what ever reason they weren't able to do so. Does that make them less of a woman?"

Ruth stared into Jessica's eyes then her gaze dropped down to their joined hands. Ruth took in Jessica's words; she hadn't thought about that. Now she was realizing how wrong she was for ever thinking she had made a mistake. She knew in her heart that her transition was not a mistake.

Ruth looked back up and said. "Oh Jess, I didn't think of that. Of course they are all women! Just because they can't have babies of their own doesn't mean they are any less a woman. I...I am a woman too."
Jessica smiled at Ruth with tears rolling down her cheeks and said. "Yes Ruth, you are a woman."
"Jessica, I'm sorry for distancing myself from you. I promise from here on out, I am going to stick by your side." Ruth said. "I love you."
"I accept your apology. I love you too." Jessica said then kissed Ruth.

That night, they both fell asleep in their bed and Ruth wrapped her arms around Jessica. She felt the gentle kicks coming from their son. Ruth smiled and felt so much better now that she had told Jessica how she was feeling and she knew Jessica was right. She was and has always been a woman.

Sorry I haven't been posting any updates. I've been stuck in this weird funk and I can't seem to get out of.

I hope you all are still liking this story.❤️