The Social Reject

Chapter 19 : You.And.I ~LAST CHAPTER~

I stayed in my room the whole time the next day. I didn’t eat anything and I didn’t talk to anyone. It just feels like my heart just gotten ripped out of my chest and there’s no way it can fit back in. My mates came and checked up on me, but it was completely useless. I just stared in place while they were trying to talk to me. Mum tried feeding me, but it was useless as well. I never felt this depressed before. I never thought somebody like Harry, would have so much input in my life before. But the saddest part is that I lost three lads in my life. Dad, Hugh, and now Harry. Where did things go so wrong? Was Duncan right? Was I the blame for all of this? It feels that way sometimes. But I’ll never put that in my head. I surely wasn’t the blame.

Days passed and I kept on having dreams about Harry that would make me wake up crying and screaming. Everytime I close my eyes, I see Harry’s face. One of my dreams started off on how Harry and I met and then how our future was already planned out. Now, we didn’t have any type of future together. We only been together for a numbered of days, and already he’s gone. I didn’t expect our future to be like that.

That Saturday was the funeral. I was scheduled to give the eulogy there and I didn’t know if I was fully repaired. I wrote everything down on what I was going to say, but reading it from a piece of paper, didn’t feel like it was from the heart. I crumpled the paper up and threw it on the floor. I went to the mirror and looked at myself. I was wearing a black dress that stopped at my knees and a small black heel. My hair was tied back and Only wore eyeliner and lip-gloss. I took out a breath and then left out of my room.  I walked down the hallway and saw Mum dressed in black as well.

“Ready?” Mum asked, standing up from the couch. I nodded my head.

“Ready,” I said.

Both of us walked out together towards the front door. Both of us went down the stairs, until I saw Stormie and Courtney waiting outside. I smiled and went down towards them, giving them each a hug. I never thought they’ll be supportive about this. Both of them were all about me staying away from Harry, but their minds have changed. It was a good sight to see.

All four of us went into the car and drove down to the graveyard sight, where Harry will be buried and also where the service will be held. My palms were getting sweaty again and I felt my heart pumping like crazy. It’s just crazy. I’m on my way to my boyfriend’s funeral. It felt unreal to be honest. I was just hoping that this was just a nightmare, but every time I pinch myself, I never woken up. This was real, and this was really happening.

Once we gotten to the graveyard sight, I saw a lot of people talking and crying, while the rest was just looking at his casket. I squinted my eyes to at least see what the casket looked like. When people started to move away from it, I saw him. I saw Harry laying there, eyes closed, not breathing. He looked like he was just sleeping. My heart was literally pumping out of my chest. Mum parked the car and then Courtney opened the door, letting Stormie and I out. Once I gotten out of the car, my legs were shaking and it was hard to even stand up right. So Courtney held my hand, while Stormie closed the door behind her and then held mine. We both walked together towards where the service was being held. Then I stopped in my tracks once I saw the full sight of him.

“This is unreal. This really can’t be happening,” I said. Courtney and Stormie both came in front of me, blocking the view of Harry’s body.

“I’m sorry Natalie. But it’s real and it’s happening,” Stormie said. I could feel my stomach tying into knots and it felt like I was going to throw up.

“Take a deep breath mate. You’ll be fine,” Courtney said. I nodded my head and then they went back to my sides again and we went to find our seats.