•Changed• |Grayson Dolan| Book 2 of My Bullies...

Twenty Six

Erin's POV

When I woke up that next morning it was 9:30 am. That meant that I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep that night. But something wouldn't allow me to sleep in. There was like something was just compelling me to stay awake. Whatever it was it one because here I was 10:00 am and I'm in legging and a tee shirt ready to start my day.

I started thinking about last night and what had happened. And especially Asher. Everything about him. His eyes, his hair, the clothes he was wearing. All I was thinking was Asher Asher Asher. It was pathetic to say the least, but I couldn't help it.

I layers back on my bed as I slipped back into reality. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to by body. Thinking about nothing but how badly I just wanted to indulge in him. He was all that I wanted. He was the person I had in the corner of my eye my entire life but now he is all I can see. I always had feelings for him but now I think my life will always be changed.

With him on my mind it finally cane to me that Asher is going to wake up alone in my room with no remembrance of how he had ended up there. 

I grabbed my keys and got in my car. I debated my options as I tapped my fingers on my steering wheel. I decided my best bet was to tell Asher a faded version of the truth. I'd leave out anything that had to do with my feelings and anything he said last night, and simply say that he was a drunk mess and my brother left him behind so I had to deal with him. As for what I would tell my father though, I was still unsure

I began driving along the familiar roads that until eventually I arrived at the house. Deja Vu of last night haunted me until I forced myself to snap out of it. I turned my keys to turn off my car and opened my door to get out. As I walked to my front door I felt even more of a stranger here then ever. I knocked powerfully but it felt very timid.

When the door opened I closed my eyes. If I just slowly backed away now I wouldn't have to see who was opening it. I didn't know who of the three people that could open it I was dreading seeing the most. My father, my mother, or Asher.

"Erin?" A voice I thought I knew so well sounded so foreign now.

"Yeah, It's me can I come in?" I opened my eyes awkwardly .

"Of course sweetheart come in" My Dad nervously opened the door wider as he spoke giving me space to enter.

I walked past him trying my hardest not to look at him because the longer I did the bigger the not grew in my stomach. The first thing I saw when entering the house was Asher standing in my kitchen with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

"What's up sunshine come back to get me" Asher smirked with a cheeky tone "I've been being  pampered over here by your two favorite people."

His statement made me finally notice that my mother too was in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Thanks for that Asher way to bite the situation on the ass" Savannah got up and pushed in her chair making her way towards me.

"Can someone fill me in on what the fuck is happening? What are you guys playing house? As if pretending to be a big happy family over here will fix the problems you've all been avoiding?" I spat backing away from the kitchen only for Asher to follow me.

"Erin how are you going to talk about avoiding problems when last night you snuck into your own house? Confessed your feelings to your brothers drunk best friend but only because he said he wouldn't remember? What problems have you ever faced? You keep placing blame here. You talk about all the absence that we caused in your life but everyone in this room
Is begging you in your own way to let them make up for it. And guess what? I remember everything single thing that was said last night. I meant every word drunk or not. And when I woke up this morning I knew I couldn't keep playing these games with us. I told both of your parents everything. I told them that I've had feelings for you since before I could remember. I told them that over the last few months that I've fallen in love with you, but I don't even know who I've fallen in love with because you don't even know yourself. I told them that I made the biggest mistake in my life by pushing you away when you needed me but that I had no other choice because I couldn't and still can't handle loving you. I told them that loving you is the scariest thing that I've ever felt. But here I am Erin. Doing what I can to pick up the pieces. I'm not doing this for me. I could walk away and and decide to figure out my own mess. Because you're not the only one with problems, and I'm starting to realize that myself. I can't just fix you. That's not my job no matter what I feel for you. I need to work on myself. But I love you. So here I am. In your kitchen. With your family. Trying to figure out a way to help you. So come on then come play house with us. Or do what you usually do, yell, storm out, go move in somewhere new and lie to yourself and say that you are going to change."

"Leave" I blurted.

"Wha-t?" Asher stuttered.

"I want you to leave." I held in my tears "your right. You have to leave you can't pick up after me." He stared at me a moment waiting for me to give him a sign I wanted him to stay. "Asher I meant if Leave!" I yelled letter tears stream down my face "I SAID TO FUCKING LEAVE" I cried.

His eyes were begging to catch mine. He knew that I wanted him to stay and that if I looked at him just for a second he could lure it out of me. But I wouldn't give in. I knew he needed to go. He needed a o for himself and for me.

It took him a few seconds but finally he left. As I heard his steps vanish as the door closed shut, I finally let out the cry I had been holding back.

I broke down into a crying mess. My legs failed me  leaving me on the cold tile floor.  The anger, sadness, confusion, and every other feeling I had been holding onto poured out of me creating a tsunami.

Completely defenseless and completely out of control. I let out a soft barley audible breathe.
"Daddy..... please, Mom Dad please help me."

In seconds I was a child again. Wrapped in my father and mother's arms. This was the home I had been in search of my whole life. In those arms is when finally I was able to put the first piece of my puzzle back into place.
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Surprises bitches I'm back at it again!!!!! I'm really trying to get back into my stories and weirdly enough this is the one I'm clinging to the most. I guess everything comes full circle lmao. Anyway please comment how your feeling about the course of the story and what you want so see happen from here . Love yah, bye