Love Letters to Sally || Louis Tomlinson

8.

8.

"Let's bow our heads and connect with the Lord our Jesus Christ." I roll my eyes leaning my elbows onto my knees, letting my head fall into my hands. I cannot believe Niall is making me do this. If he believes that this will help me, he is terribly wrong.

"That was a wonderful prayer Lithia, now I want you all to take a deep breath, close your eyes if you must. I want you to relax before we start this meeting." I take a deep breath but quickly exhale letting my shoulders slump while shaking my head, this was ridiculous. My eyes scan across the small circle, everyone had their eyes closed, focusing on relaxing themselves. I look down at my shoes but they easily blend into the black of the circular shaped carpet, upon the carpet was a thick red cross. Loud breathing could be heard throughout the room, it was annoying.

"To start off this meeting I would like all of us to stand and introduce ourselves while finishing off what type of addiction you have been struggling with. I will start." The young man with a wrinkled face stands. The man has very short legs and a long torso. He stands confidently, something I envied. He raises his hand and introduces himself,

"I'm Tommy. I'm a recovered addict from cigarettes." Tommy seats himself and motions for the next person to stand. Seven people stand before it was my turn to introduce myself. I pinch the bridge of my nose before standing and avoiding everyone's eyes.

"I'm Louis and I am addicted to alcohol and other shit."

'Hello Louis' was mumbled amongst the group unenthusiastically.

"How are you today Louis?" Tommy smiles up at me softly.

I answer with a shrug and take a seat. Tommy nods understandingly before continuing onto the next person. I ignore everyone else, dreading for this meeting to end so I can sleep more.

~

"That was hell."

"Oh come on Louis was it really that bad?" Niall nudges his elbow into my side. I send him a glare but he only smirks.

"This one girl wouldn't stop rambling off about her problem with sex."

"Sex?" Niall questions. We were walking down the back streets of London. The meeting was awful, Tommy tried getting me to talk but I would only shake my head. I knew very well that I had nothing to talk about around those strangers. "What's wrong with sex?"

"It's not what's wrong with sex, it's what's wrong with her and sex. She's a sex addict Niall."

"Oh." He stays silent before furrowing his eyebrows. "Who could be addicted to sex?"

"Who could be addicted to alcohol?" I catch Niall off guard, my point being proven. He nods his head.

"Why are you walking so fast?"

"I want to get home." We walk in silence for a bit, both of us thinking to ourselves. The day after Jean had left, I drank until I passed out in my kitchen, it wasn't nice knowing Liam had found me. "Is Liam still mad at me?"

"Well he isn't the happiest." Niall shrugs.

"You aren't going to make me go back there are you?" I ask referring to the AA meeting.

"Please Louis give it another chance, maybe you will start to like it soon?" He gives me hopeful eyes, the kind where you couldn't say no without feeling terribly guilty. Niall was good at that, pulling a sad face and making you say yes. He gets away with everything when he pulls that damn face.

"Don't give me that face Niall." I point a finger at him. He winks at me before patting my shoulder with his hand.

"You are like an older brother to me Louis. I just want you to be normal again." There is that word, normal. What is normal? Is there a definition?

The definition I always found on google was, 'Conforming to a standard; unusual, typical or expected.'

Was normal something expected by society? My wonder of how to be normal and what is normal has gone completely nowhere over the past year. When I look up the definition of normal there is one word, expected. And expected leads to what people want you to be like. What they expect you to be.

"Your birthday is coming up soon and the boys and I would like to do something special for you."

"Please don't." I groan opening the front door of the apartment complex. Niall stays outside but I wave my hand wanting him to follow me to my apartment.

"Was last year's party really that bad?" We walk up the stairs, our boots squeaking from the wetness of the ground outside.

"Something happened to me on my birthday. I don't want a party and I most defiantly do not want to spend it with anyone." Niall looks a bit hurt at the end of my sentence making me regret my angered words. I am about to apologize when Niall shakes his head turning with me down my hallway.

"You can't keep living in the past Louis. Don't let little the things break your happiness." I angrily shove the key into the door. I stay silent and stare down at the doorknob with my keys still hanging from it.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" He asks from behind me.

"You just won't understand." I walk inside shutting the door without another glance. I jump onto the couch, resting my face into a pillow letting out a quiet groan. My whole body was sore and aching. My last drink was a little over three hours ago, I don't know how I was able to have one drink when Jean was here.

Next week was my birthday I will be turning twenty-five, on Christmas day would be Sally's birthday. She would be turning twenty-four. I needed to find Sally, but part of me screamed no. That she wouldn't even recognize the man I had grown up to be.

There is a knock at my door, I ignore it as three more louder knocks rapidly bang on my door. I roll my eyes knowing it was Niall. Standing from the couch I lazily swing the door open but my expectations were wrong.

"Hi Louis." I stare shocked at the beautiful girl who stands in front of me. Her long dark hair cascades over her shoulders, curling slightly. Light makeup lines her eyes, small snowflakes lay upon the grey beanie she has on. She seems shy and uncertain as if she expected me to shoo her away. My heart races at the sight of her, why was she here? I try to make a sound but the only words I managed to get out of my throat were,

"You're back?"

{ Word Count: 1135 }