We Should Be Together - Lams AU

17.

A/n: In this chapter there is actually a suicide attempt, so this is just a forewarning. If you find this too upsetting or it triggers you, there will be a summary at the bottom of the chapter.

John's POV
My eyes fluttered open the next day as my gaze drifted to Alex's bed. It was empty. I turned back over, smiling slightly and feeling much more peaceful. Lee was dead, and there was no bringing him back, so why should I feel guilty anymore? Alex had probably gone to break up with Eliza, so it's not like I was getting nothing out of the whole situation.

I couldn't wait for my fantasies to come true. I could just imagine Alex holding me, with my arms laced around him, as he kissed me on the lips, deepening it and making me beg for more. He would leave a trail of love bites down my neck all the way to my v-line.

I slowly rolled out of bed, and edged towards the shower. I sighed as Alex had clearly got to it first. The entire room was covered in condensation and the bath was wet. How deep was I in sleep to not hear Alex in there?

Well, he was going to turn up at some point. Whilst waiting for him, I quickly got dressed and ready, excited for him to ask me out.

Alex's POV
I gently comforted Herc, after his very sad split from Laf.

According to me, I watched Laf go off with a bunch of Parisians and have sex in the back of a car. Luckily, Laf got so drunk last night he had no idea what he'd done, so now he was sat crying in him and Herc's room trying to piece it all together.

I mean, I felt bad but I'd promised John his crush, and Herc was currently so sad and vulnerable. He would be easy enough to convince that John had always been there for him, and that he cared about him and that he wanted to be his boyfriend now.

Herc was still crying into my shoulder as I gently soothed him. He really needed to shut up so that I could talk, but he just kept crying.

"I-I don't under-understand, Alex," He sobbed. "Why w-would Laf... why would Laf do that?"

"Shh," I mumbled into him, "Shh, it's all going to be alright." And it will be if Herc shuts the fuck up!

He pulled away and I passed him a tissue, which he clung to like a lifeline. He looked up and saw John in the doorway.

John made eye contact and came rushing over.

"Oh my God! Herc! Are you OK?" His face was full of concern. Exactly - John was crushing on Herc so much! He really cared about him. Oh, he was going to be so happy when Herc asked him out.

"N-no," Herc snapped, pushing his chair back and leaving. John watched him go, visibly upset.

"What happened?" He asked me.

"Well, Laf got into a car with a bunch of Parisians and well, you know," I replied. "Don't worry, that was just part of the plan."

John's POV
Part of the plan? Part of the plan?

Oh no.

"What do you mean, plan?" I hissed, turning to gaze at him, mouth gaping.

"You know, for you to get your crush? Laf didn't really cheat on Herc, that's just what I told Herc so that they would break up and Herc could date you," Alex smirked. "Just like you want."

I was speechless. I froze up I panic. Alex looked me up and down.

"Because..." He articulated, not as confident as before. "Because Herc is your... crush..."

"Alex," I hissed. "I do not have a crush on Hercules Mulligan. I never have."

Alex looked mortified. "Then who is it?"

I regarded him closely. I couldn't believe this happened! Alex thought I had a crush on the wrong guy! Oh my God, he was never going to break up with Eliza... I felt so stupid! I killed a man over him, and it turns out it wasn't even over him!

I was about to tell him, when I heard a scream from down the hall.

I left Alex and sprinted towards the scream, terrified of what it was. It turned out it came from Herc and Laf's room. A small crowd had already formed, with Mr. Washington pushing through it.

I also weaved my way to the front to see Herc clinging to Laf, who was unconscious and bleeding heavily from his wrists. Mr Washington knelt beside them both and called an ambulance, but everything was moving in slow motion.

I dove beside Laf and Herc, checking that Laf was breathing. Faint air moved onto the back of my palm. Thank God, he was breathing. Herc was back to crying uncontrollably, but for the moment I held it together. I gently held his wrists above his heart, hoping that it was enough.

My gaze drifted to the door, and I saw Alex stood there, looking like he was about to collapse. He knew that this was his fault. Eliza arrived that his side, before gasping and rushing forwards as well.

Normally I would make some cutting remark, but today I couldn't do it. She comforted Herc as he held Laf, trying to soothe him, but only making it worse. I'd never seen Herc cry before today, and I never, ever wanted to again.

It felt like an age before the paramedics arrived, but I was so glad when they did. They shouted rapidly to each other in French as they took Laf from Herc's arms.

Once they'd taken him away, Herc collapsed onto me, sobbing into my shoulder. I started crying as well - only silently, because I felt so guilty I couldn't even bring myself to make any noise.

A heavy thud rang through the air, followed Eliza squealing in horror. Both Herc and I turned to see Alex crumpled on the floor, also unconscious. Eliza laid him out on the floor as the crowd started to disperse.

I was glad they were gone, because it meant I could tend to Herc without them watched. I helped him to his feet, and walked him to the bathroom, where I passed him tissues and a bottle of water.

He took them and thanked me quietly, as he cradled back into my chest, tears rolling from his eyes.

"J-John..." He mumbled. "This is all... all... all my fault. If I... if I hadn't acted s-so rashly, th-then Laffy would still b-be OK." He broke down again.

"Herc," I breathed, guilt crushing my heart. "Hercules, this isn't your fault."

"Y-yes it is!"

"No," I whispered, looking away. "It isn't. Please don't blame yourself."

Because Herc wasn't to blame.

I was.

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Word Count: 1111 Words

Summary: John wakes up and sees that Alex has gone somewhere, presumably to break up with Eliza, so he gets up to find him. However, he then finds him comforting Herc after a break-up with Laf, because all along Alex has got it wrong and though that John had a crush on Herc.

Obviously Alex is wrong, and this has left Lafayette in a very bad place, who seriously hurts himself and is luckily reached by paramedics.

John feels that this is his fault, and is needless to say, consumed with guilt.