We Should Be Together - Lams AU

18.

John's POV
It had been two days since Laf... since Laf... well...

Every time I close my eyes, I can just see the blood... I can see Herc just holding Laf... I can see him being carried away on a stretcher.

I could barely deal with myself - and I especially couldn't deal with Alex. We still shared a room, but we barely spoke. I spent most of my time with Herc, which was ironic because that's what Alex wanted to happen. He wanted me to spend so much time with Herc that we would be dating.

Oh God, if I could turn back time.

I was now responsible for the death of Charles Lee, and also for the attempted suicide of Laf.

I could barely deal with it - all I wanted was Alex, not a dirty conscience and an internal war.

Herc had finally gotten permission from the hospital to visit Laf, who was still in the ICU in a coma because of the blood loss. Basically, whilst he was unconscious, barely any blood was getting to his brain, so it almost shut down all function, and now it hasn't started back up again.

I went with him, because I was worried about what he would do if he went alone. He had been so distant, which is so unlike him. He needed Laf, not me hiding all the sharp objects and pills in his room. It was like I had to babysit him.

We sat together in the waiting room, Herc sat forwards, biting his nails. He was so on edge. I felt even worse when I saw him like this.

Finally, we were let into that green walled room, with endless machinery and so many bleeps I was going to go crazy. It made it all the more real. This had actually happened. Laf tried to kill himself, and now he was stuck here.

I though back to that day by the Eiffel Tower. He was so happy. How come, only a few days later, we were here?

When the nurse finally reached Laf and left us alone with him, I broke. He was lying there helplessly hooked up to machines and bags of whatever substance was in them. But the worst bit was that he didn't even look peaceful. His eyelids kept flickering open and closed, giving me some hope.

Herc's eyes went wide. "Laf?" He mumbled, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"Maman? Es-tu là?" Laf murmured, still not at all conscious.

Herc leapt forwards to stroke his hair. "No, my love, it's Herc. I'm so, so sorry Laf," He forced out, sobs starting to choke him, "I'm sorry. Please don't go, don't leave me here alone! I love you!" He kissed his forehead, crying uncontrollably.

"Maman?" Laf mumbled again, sending Herc over the edge.

I tried to comfort him, but it was too late. Laf didn't even fully realize we were here. That killed me inside.

I saw the doors to the ICU open, as Mr Washington stepped inside, before making his way towards us. He silently approached us, before beckoning us towards him. Herc didn't move - I'm not sure he even noticed, but I left to go and speak to him.

"Hi, Sir," I mumbled.

"Is he doing alright?" He asked me.

"Well, the doctors say he's stable, and that there's a good chance he'll recover, but he's just really delirious."

"He is comatose, John."

"Yeah, I know that!" I insisted. "It's just that he's calling out for his mom, and it's absolutely killing Herc."

Mr Washington sighed, before looking over at Herc, to see him crying and pressing Laf's knuckles to his lips. "Lafayette's parents will be here soon. I called them after the ambulance, and they said they were on their way." I nodded, and went back to Herc's side, trying to futilely comfort him.