I'm Not A Myth, I'm A Legend (Ray Palmer fanfic)

Why ?

Here I am again, sitting on the floor, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. But I can't just sit there and do nothing. Kendra's condition still hasn't changed and the others are trying to get Carter's remains so we can actually give him a funeral he deserves.

I get up and go to the medbay, but decided to just stand near the door.

Stein gave me a nice while he talked to Ray, who was back in Kendra's bloodstream.

"Focus, Raymond. Remember, you can do this. It's not the suit, it's you that Kendra needs right now."

 I look at the screen and I see that there is only one fragment left, I start to feel hopeful that we won't be losing another team member anytime soon.

"Good job, Raymond you did it !" I hear the old man say, then he looks at me "She's gonna make it, miss Jones !"

I smile back at him, as he gets Ray out of there. 

At turn around and start walking back to my room before Ray could see me.

Too late.

"Ruby ! Hey, Ruby wait !"

I turn around as he walks towards me.

"I just wanted to say.. Thank you for reminding me that giving up is not an option, your words really helped me." He says awkwardly.

"I haven't done anything, I'm sure Dr. Stein did most of the inspiring part, he's the wise one."

We stood there trying to figure out what to say next when I heard Kendra saying something that was clearly not in English.

I rush back to the Medbay and she started screaming that we need to save Rip and Sara.

Stein, who was as confused as we were, contacts Jax, Snart and Rory and tells them to go help them then sits next to Kendra. But I could see that he was very tired.

"Professor, you can go and rest for a bit. You have done enough." I said to him "I will tell you if anything happens."

He just nods and walks away.

I sat next to Kendra and kept looking at her.

Losing the love of her life must be awful, but there's no way I can know much about it. I never fell in love. Not once.

I feel someone's presence near me, it was Ray.

Of course.

"I know the timing is somewhat inappropriate but I don't think there will ever be a good time during this mission."

Oh boy, I know exactly where this is going.

"I am so sorry about.. you know when I.."

"Yeah."

"I was confused and I wasn't aware of what I am doing, that was wrong." He continued.

"It's okay, and I agree. We shouldn't have done that. Let's just.. not talk about it."

Silence took over the room for a moment, then he spoke again.

"I'll just leave you alone, not gonna bother you anymore."

And he's gone.

Thinking about it, I don't even know what happened back there, even if he's "confused". How can confusion lead a person to kiss another ?
How can you kiss someone that annoys you just because you're caught up in the moment ?
And most importantly, why did I kiss back ? Guess I'll have to act as if that never happened.

****

I spent nearly an hour trapped in my own mind before the rest of team came back to the Waverider with Hawkman's body. Kendra was awake for a moment and I stayed with her to make sure she's okay. Seeing Carter made her tear up but she handled it with strength that I can't even begin to describe. That was the circle of her life, birth, meeting Carter, remembering her past lives, witnessing her love's death, death comes to her.