Abigails Sin

Only Herself

Help me Faith-Dan Romer

Trigger waring before the beginning of this chapter.

We didn't speak when we entered the cabin. Quietly going our separate ways at the top of the stairs. John was exasperated. His movements stiff instead of his usual gracefulness. There was something he wasn't telling me. We were both ashamed at the brief moment that had passed between us, for different reasons but ashamed all the same. That night and for many others that followed I thought about our moment together, what it had meant if anything. The moment would replay in my head, reminding of the raw pain of his rejection. John wouldn't speak to me, only when commanding me to do something. Those nights I had cried myself to sleep but couldn't reach to anyone for help. If I left the cabin the other hostages would be killed, this John had told me the morning after. Pratt and the Marshall were still being held by Jacob and Faith.

    The turmoil inside me had quieted to only a low rumble. The strength to resist faltered out of me. I was starting to see the John that everyone had warned me about. Heard the screams that would sometimes escape from the bottom cellar where Hudson and I were once kept. John would come upstairs with blood soiling his silken shirts causing Peaches to shrink down and growl. He didn't care. Simply rolling his eyes and tossing the dirty rag he had used to dry his hand onto her. If John had a heart it had surely shrunken up and disappeared that night.

    "Get dressed" his boot connected with the wooden door throwing it open. I yanked the blankets up to cover myself. "The Father is here, get up" he instructed again more crudely. Peaches hissed at him from the bottom of my bed. "Leave that beast behind" he snarled back at her. Slamming the door behind him. I had gotten used to the emotional pain that these past few weeks had brought me. After all I had surely been through worse. I grabbed a plain white dress from the dresser. My clothes had been replaced with some of Faith's. The smell of bliss lingered on them even though I had scrubbed my knuckles raw down in the river in attempt to banish the smell. I met my own eyes in the mirror. Pulling two long strands of my hair from either side to clip it behind my head and out of my face. John hadn't laid a finger on me since that night, not to hurt me nor help me. It was almost painful how I craved human touch and conversation since then. My eyes were half shut, it was as if I was sleep walking through everything. Peaches chirped in the mirror at me.

We walked down the stairs together. The open door tempting me to run. My leg was healed now, I could easily put my full weight on it. Now only a deep scratch laced my delicate skin. Peaches ran out of the door and into the forest like she had most mornings now. After all she couldn't protect me from emotional abuse.

"Oh my child" the father grabbed me suddenly pulling me into an embrace. Jacob stood beside him with a scowl set in place. John was no where to be seen. My eyes flickered up to him. He was smiling down at me. His long hair tied back into a bun, yellow tinted sunglasses sitting on the brim of his nose.

"John has some matters to attend to so for the time being Jacob will be looking after you" Joseph shoved me in his direction. My heart stopped. The disappointing scowl turning into a sinister grin. The way his eyes traveled up and down my form made my skin crawl.

"Father please" I pleaded "anywhere but there"

"Are you insulting my older brother Abigail?" Josephs face contorted into something I had never seen before, anger. I shrank back from him. Jacobs giant hand enclosed my elbow. He threw me to the side. I dug my heels into the broken ground under me hoping to stall my departure. My eyes frantically searched for John.

"I've done everything you wanted" I cried

"but your brother hasn't" Jacob snarled. The lines of his face darkening. His eyes focused on me in an animalistic way. My voice was now lost somewhere deep inside me. Unable to cry out for help or to fight my way free I hunched my shoulders forward, shielding my small frame from Jacob. He opened the back door of his SUV leaving me to settle myself. I looked out the black tinted window.