Abigails Sin

Coming Home

John stared at the polished wood floors beneath him. Hands clasped firmly in his lap. Faith was eating a salad beside him on the couch, he had finally convinced her to eat even if it was only a small amount. She had her hair pulled back from her face, something she rarely ever did. The day was just beginning and he was already plagued with fatigue as if he had never slept, which wasn't entirely a lie. The sun was glinting in through the large windows, bouncing off surfaces and annoying him. He wanted to draw the curtains and just sit to think. He hadn't spoke much or done much of anything since Jacob had brought Abigail back to his cabin. No one besides his family even knew she was here, to keep the resistance away from her while he figured everything out.

"John, can we talk? like how we used to without all of this 'cult' business" she rabbit eared her fingers towards him almost childishly. Of course John didn't mind, Faith was the one person in his family he could really be a human being with instead of follower.

"We're talking right now" he pointed out. She gave him an irritated scowl, something that didn't belong on her. She turned to face him on the couch the salad bowl resting in her lap. She was carefully thinking over her next words to him.

"Do you think this has gone too far John?" she asked. John blinked up at her, astonished.

"What do you mean?" he said back

"I believe The Father when he says there is something coming, I feel it in my bones I do but..." she trailed "the way it's happening we're just putting more people what we've been through, you and I John and I don't see how that helps" she reached out for his arm. He didn't pull away, letting her palm rest against his forearm. He knew things had gone to far, knew that some of the things Jacob and Joseph were doing were wrong. Knew what he was doing could be viewed as wrong.

"You can't make people atone for their sins John, they have to do it themselves that's what confession is for". She threw up her hands almost knocking the salad bowl to the floor "if people don't want to be saved the leave them to the mercy of god, it gives us an opportunity to take care of our own" she looked up the stairs nervously.

"We have to save as many souls as we can" John grabbed her face roughly in-between his hands. His face wasn't angry, but he was, Faith could tell.

"We can't save people that don't want to be saved" she pushed him back. Her arms crossed over her chest in a weak attempt to calm her own breathing.

"I know what you're trying to say Faith and maybe you're right, hell I don't know" John leaped to his feet pacing as he usually did now. Finger rubbing along his bottom lip as he got lost in his own thoughts. Faith could see the change that had happened to him, after Joseph and Jacob had lied to him he hadn't forgiven them even though he played the part. Barefoot with only jeans and a lazily buttoned up black shirt. The sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He wasn't as done up as he usually was, his hair sticking out at odd angles from the tossing and turning from the night before. Faith stepped lightly onto the floor placing the salad bowl on the table beside her. She grabbed both of Johns hands in hers holding him still.

"We've done all we can John all that is left now is to make peace with ourselves" she pleaded with him to listen, unsure if she was getting through to him even a little bit. He eyes roamed over the black and blue ink that scrawled up his hands and arms. Faith knew about his childhood, not from John but Jacob. She knew how hard it was for him to let go. For years he had been going through life, just doing the motions not really living. Trying to find his purpose but never succeeding. She could tell his fake smiles from the real ones. The emotions he tried to fake in his attempt cover the emptiness. He had done many things that he wouldn't speak of, many sins to fill the holes the abuse had made in him but not until The Father reached out and gave him a purpose did he feel alive. This wasn't alive though, Faith knew. Anger and despair were not the only emotions in life. She felt terrible for going against Josephs word, after everything he had done for her but behind the wall of bliss she was starting to see his trickery. She was afraid.