Abigails Sin

My Sin

I was sitting at the bar, my wrists tied tightly behind my back. Mary looked at me with an edge of sympathy but I wasn't sure what for. Maybe it was for my treatment, being locked away, or maybe because somewhere inside her she knew there was a hint of truth to what I was saying even if no one had believed me. Matthew was drinking a beer. His shorts and cameo top clashing together furiously but he didn't care.

"Are you ever going to forgive me?" he asked.

"For which part"

"all of it" he set the beer down "I never meant to leave you there with him, to let you be drugged and god knows what else they did to you that you can't remember"

"they didn't hurt me" I said for the millionth time.

"Even if they didn't, they filled your head with nonsense" he waved me off like a child with a stupid idea. I loved him but in this moment all I wanted to do was break his wrist. He caught me glaring at him and laughed. He grabbed the rope holding my wrists together and undid the knot. Letting me have free movement once again

"the look in your eye said you wanted to strangle me"

"then why would you untie my hands" I rubbed my wrists

"because I've seen that look a thousand times and you've never done it but if you were still under the bliss influence you would have done it" he handed me a fresh beer. The bar was empty. Mary had closed the doors and allowed only Matthew in to see me. The morning sun lit the bar up through all of its various windows. Mary was scrubbing some glasses clean behind the bar but she was still listening. Her head tilted slightly to hear our voices better.

"Joseph and John messed with your head" he made stupid gestures with his hands as he tried to defend himself "you can't really believe they want peace with us after everything they've done"

"what about everything we've done, we have blood on our hands too" I took a long swig of the beer. The cool refreshing beverage chilling my throat. The heat was already getting unbearable and it wasn't even noon.

"What show of their good faith do I have? hmm? say for dead bodies littering our streets"

"you have me back" I put my hand on his shoulder "they let me go Matt"

"yet you're supposed to go back to them and hell knows if I'll ever see you again if I let you do that"

"we have to start somewhere" I sighed

"no, we'll send someone else in your place"

"no one will volunteer for that job and you know it Matt, I'm here saying I'll come back to you" I pulled on his sleeve to get him to face me. Our eyes were glued to each other

"we don't have a choice anymore, we already burned those bridges" I added. His face paled, he looked like a kid again. Blaming himself for all the horrible things that had happened to me, things he had no control over. I wanted to hug him to reassure him but there was nothing to say. He wouldn't listen to me. It was his job to protect me and that meant even from myself sometimes.

"I'm not letting you go and thats final" he grabbed my hand "I need to keep you safe, you're all I have left Abigail". I held his hand in my own. We were all we had left. I took strength from his grip. Trying to make myself speak but I couldn't. I couldn't keep seeing these emotions in him. I had seen them so many times when we were younger and seeing them now tore me open and left so many nerves raw and angry. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze nodding my head. It was my turn to protect him.

"Fine" I finally spoke

"I'll meet him where ever you were supposed to go and I'll talk to that monster". I bit down into my lip holding back the spite in my words.