You Condemn Me Now

Summer 1989

                        

Dinner is over and everyone is stuffed and praising Grandma for the wonderful meal she prepared. I however didn't really eat much. I had lost my appetite from vomiting minutes before dinner. The accusatory stares I was getting from everyone the moment I came in the dining room didn't help much either.

"Y'all kids gon' outside n play... Don't need to be in hea in grown folks business." Aunt Pearl commanded and we all obeyed except for Shonda and Shane who were almost adults themselves. Besides.. Shonda has made it clear to Aunt Pearl several times that she can't tell her what to do. They even got into a fist fight over it.... Shonda won.

Once we all made our way outside I continued to walk heading towards my Magic Place. I begin saying my usual rhyme aloud as I walked..

         "I am lost in time and space
         Taken away by a wise dragon
         To my Magic Place"
 
 
I always repeat the rhyme until I meet my destination. I can hear the usual whispers behind me.. But at this point it doesn't bother me. They're going to whisper no matter what I do.

I get to my Magic Place and I instantly feel free. I'm confident Rasheeda and Darryl won't be coming to ruin my adventure.. Or any of the other kids for that matter.

After what happened to Darryl, and then Aunt Pearl.... They're all afraid of me now....

I take off my shoes and socks so that I can feel the ground beneath. I close my eyes and feel the soft grass cradling my feet and entwining my toes and ankles like vines. A wave of unimaginable energy ripples upward through my body, from the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head. I open my eyes and I feel euphoric.. I no longer feel weighed to the ground by gravity. Instead it feels like its apart of me.. As if me and the Earth became one.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into my mystical world of Elves flying into battle on winged unicorns, with me atop my Dragon leading the way.
Orcs and Ogres are leading our army of Fairies and Gnomes below us. All of us fearless... We're ready to take a stand against the evil Demons, Vampires, and Wraiths, who wants to destroy us and our world. We're gonna show them all that they can't push us around!

I'm flying fast through the air slaying demons with one mighty swing of my sword as the armies collide below.
Ogres literally ripping the heads off of Vampires and Fairies shooting bright  beams of light through the Wraiths making them dissipate in thin air.

My magical world is suddenly intruded by a peculiar smell. I awaken from my daydream as the smell gets stronger.

"Aye beyybeh... What you doin out hea all by yoself?"

I knew without looking that was Uncle Jacky... By that revolting sound he makes as he drags the word baby in his Louisiana accent. I look at him and he's got what looks like a cigarette between his fingers. He takes a puff...and I then realize what it is.

"I like this place.. It's where I play pretend..." I dryly respond... I don't like this guy.. And he doesn't seem as awesome as everyone described. "How do you know about this place?" I asked

"I used to come hea a lot back in da day to hide from ya Grandma so I can smoke ma joints" he replied with a chuckle through that gold plated grin of his.

"But ain't she just your sister?" I ask in my typical curiosity.

"Yeah but she a lot older than me.. She and yo grandaddy finished raising me after our mama n daddy died."

He takes another drag and then positions the joint between his thumb and index finger. He holds it out offering it to me.

"Wanna take you a hit?" He asked through exhaled smoke... I shook my head no.