You Condemn Me Now

Summer July 3, 1989

               

Momma decided we should spend the night at Mama Laura's, so she called Grandma's house to let daddy know, and that he can pick us up in the morning. There was so much to teach me in so little time. Something has to be done to stop Jacky before he hurts someone else.

"Has he hurt you Vanessa?" My mom asked

"No... But he makes me uncomfortable and sometimes I feel really sick." I replied

"I'm so sorry that you experienced this Vanessa...And for all that you go through when you come here. My gut tells me it'll only get worse as you get older.." My mom said with an apologetic and sad look in her eyes.

I can feel the guilt building inside of her. She and daddy argue every summer about how his family treats me, but somehow I still end up spending half of the summer here.

"You don't have to come back here ever again if you don't want to... I don't care what your father says anymore.." Momma assured me

I smiled... But I have to see it to believe it. She's made that argument many times before.. And he's always won.

"Ok mommy..." Was all that I replied

"Well I would shole miss ya... Specially since I just metcha.." Mama Laura softly replied

"What if I come and stay with you instead!" I exclaimed with enthusiasm

"I think that would be an awesome idea! If that's ok with you Mama?" Momma asked with a wide smile

"Of course I want my great granbaby hea!.. This whea she spose to be anyhow!..." Mama Laura chastised... "Sho they her kin... But they ain't her kind!" she continued

Mama had a look of defeat with a twinge of resentment for being fussed at.. But she took it in stride... What Mama Laura had said was the truth.

"N dat lil raggly bitch Pearl bet not come 'round hea wit no bullshit neither!... Ya betta tell Bobby to control his sista when Nessa do come stay wit meh.. I may be ole... but I'll still hoyt a bitch!" She warned in a deep rugged voice..

My jaw dropped as I watched and listened to this sweet old lady morph into a foul mouthed gangster before my eyes...

"Oh I already know!" Momma exclaimed and laughed.. "That's where we all get it from..  Momma too!" she continued still laughing.

"Me too... I got a whoopin by Grandma for head butting Darryl in the nose..." I said

"I'm sure his little bad butt had it coming" Momma replied

I nodded yes with my head bowed...

"Ain't nothin to be shamed of baby... Nothing wrong wit defending yaself" said Mama Laura

"I'm not ashamed Mama... It's just..." I paused and began tugging at my shirt.

"Go ahead sweetie... there's no need to be afraid around us" My mom assured

"I think I made him choke on his own blood when I daydreamed that he was drowning in it.. I snapped out of it when Shonda pushed me out of the way... He began to breath again when she did."

They both stared at me for a moment and then at one another, before Momma gently turned me to face her.

"You're not just a seer... You have an active power as well..." Momma replied while studying my face... "No one in our family has had an active power since my Dad's great aunt Pecoyah.." She replied in   astonishment... "Most of your ancestors on both my mom n dad's sides have only been conjurers and healers" she continued

"Shonda says I got evil in me" I sadly replied

"No my baby... Not evil..." Momma replied while lifting my chin.. "You have the blood of wise and powerful people flowing through your veins... And Shonda does too.. She, just like many of our people, are lost to who they truly are due to the enslavement of our ancestors.... They've been conditioned for centuries to fear our way of life" She continued

"Ya make anythang else happen?" Mama Laura asked

"I made Aunt Pearl shut up" I replied with a huge smile and they both threw their heads back in laughter

"Well... We gon hafta teach ya how to control that suga.. So ya don't wind up hoytn somebody real bad" Mama Laura replied with a chuckle... "But fa now.. We need to take care of Jacky.... Tell me mo bout de ole man ya seen" she asked

"I saw him at the crossroads... He said he could help me with my troubles but I have to get him some tobacco, rum, and weed..  But I cant get that stuff.. I'm just a little kid" I said and haunched my shoulders

"Mm!... Papa Legba don't usually show hisself without being conjured less it really impoten" Mama Laura replied with intrigue

"Jacky seemed a bit unnerved when she mentioned him at the house earlier... He also appeared nervous when he learned that you're my grandmother" Momma said to Mama Laura

"Yeah I bet dat basted was scared.. he knew his ass was gon git found out!.. Dats why y'all need to be careful when y'all git back 'round there"... Mama Laura replied... "Na he might be nervous bout Papa Legba showin up cause he cut a deal wit eem bout 10 years ago... I know cause he came to me for help... Say he wanted to make it big in gamblin" she continued

"Well that can't be good for him... What I do remember you telling me about Papa Legba is that he comes in different forms... It all depends on what you're seeking and what your true intentions are... And judging by how disgusting he is.. The price he has to pay for the deal he made has to be heavy" Momma replied

"Mmmhmm... N I'm sho he ain't paid up.. N prolly runnin from the consequences.  Papa Legba showed hisself to ya fo a reason chile... So I'm gon' give ya what he asked you to bring him... Take it to him tomorrow while ya at the reunion... N let him take care of Jacky ole slimy ass!" she declared...

Mama Laura suggested that we get some rest so that we're up by midnight to perform a purification ritual in preparation for my first conjuring tomorrow. Momma also said that she's going to teach me my first spell. We're going to make a truth potion to put in Jacky's food or drink, so that he outs himself about what he's done... Papa Legba is being called for the justice owed to him.

I've got mixed emotions due to Aunt Mandy's warning that he tricks children who misbehave... I don't think I'm a bad kid.. But I'm not sure if he's aware of that...

Plus... I have a bad feeling something's going to go very wrong tomorrow....