Nialls pov
I have lost everything, I have even lost myself. I can't face any one. I can feel myself being consumed by grief more and more every day, how is it possible for me to love someone so much that I've never even met. I know I have lost Megan now, I know that te truth is, she was only with me because of the baby, she wanted to feel something but she loves harry still. I do t blame her, she tried I know she did.
He takes everything, he's always number one, no matter how hard I try he will always be better than me in everything, why is that fair?
Megan's pov
Harry's footsteps echoed through the apartment as e pace back and fourth, he was starting to make me dizzy, his hands repeatedly swept through his hair. "Harry, please just calm down."
He stopped dead in his tracks, staring blankly at me, making me cowar from his gaze, I could tell he was about to snap and I really didn't want to be the one he snapped at not right now. "Megan, you don't understand." His voice was hoarse, almost disappearing into the air as soon as it left his lips. "You can't understand this is easy for you, you just sit back and pick which ever one of us you like, so no don't tell me to calm down because I can't just calm down this I my career on the line here."
"Easy! You think it's easy to find out the person you love the most just moves on from you at the drop of a hat, easy to raise a baby all on my own, I lose a baby and just have to move on after holding him in my arms, I had to sit in that room that night and let the guilt I felt for Niall eat me alive whilst he broke right infront of my eyes. Don you dare tell me this is easy because this, this whole thing is your fault harry, if you hadn't of cheated on me, messed eith my head this wouldn't have happened, we could have been happy, but no, you always do this, use what I feel for you against me, you make me so venerable. None of this is easy but we just have to suck it up and deal with it, because that's what everyone expects us to do."
God why did we always have to end in disaster, we could never just be normal, I loved him and he loved me so why was this so hard.. Every time I see a couple I want to rip my own heart out because I know I will never have that. I will never be truly happy because me and harry could never truly be happy tighter there would always be our history threatening to rip us apart, making my wart swell and my hate for him rise.
"I need to get out of here." His voice broke the silence that was beginning to strangle me. Why does he always do this? He always shuts me out, he shut down goes and gets drunk and then fucks things up even more.
"No, I won't let you do this, not now, you've got Darcy's to think about now you can't just go ad get drunk every time something gets messy, that's not fair in her." I saw his face twist in anger as the words rang through his mind. His arms dropped to his sides and his shoulders slumped his whole body looked deflated as if someone had just knocked all the air out of him.
"That's what you think of me? Really Megan? After everything, you still don't trust me, for fuck sake, why do you always think the worst of me, I was going to see Niall, to make him see me, to talk about thinks because everyone else is just creeping around him pretending hell be fine, he needs someone to force him to be okay, that's the least I could do for him dot you think?"
Harry pov
I felt like someone had punched a hole in my lungs suckin all the air out of me, how could she think that. I couldn't do that to Darcy, surely she could see that I had changed. Without looking back I said my price and ran to the door, why we're things so complicated between us.
I stood outside his door, knocking lightly knowing that he wouldn't open the door, I wasn't stupid, I waited for a minute giving him the benefit of the doubt. After five minutes of knocking I pulled out my spare key and opened the door myself. The apartment was dark and beer bottles were scattered over the place. God this was worse than I had thought. I could hear murmurs coming from the other side of the apartment, I followed the sound finding him in a pile on the floor with a bottle of vodka. He turned to face me his eyes red and bloodshot.
"Mate, I didn't know it was this bad."I didn't expect him to speak but when he did I wish he hadn't of.
"No, why would you you've got your perfect little family with Megan, god dammit she wanted you there with her more than me hen she lost our baby, she should love me, not you. You treated her like crap, left her yet se still adore you as it's not fair. I bet you've been sleeping with her begin my baby since I shut myself away." His voice was a snarl and made my guilt rise with the bike in my throat.
"Niall, I'm sorry but I love her, I left her for you and the rest of the lads you no that. I didn't want to hurt her, if I could change everything I would in a heartbeat. But I can't and neither can you, I can't begin to imagine what your feeling but this, the drinking, shutting yourself away isn't the way to go about it, Megan's not doing to good herself, you two need to talk okay, your both grieving and you need to deal with it the right way."
Niall stood up above me and I thought I had finally made progress until I felt pressure against the back of my head, the shattering of a bottle taking of as darkness swallowed me whole.
Hey so hope this chapter was good enough, please let me know I you want me to carry on with the story, it was so wierd writing it again haha xxxxx
